back to article Google Ventures opens new fund in London

For schoolkids, being labelled disruptive was a sure fire sign that teacher didn't like you. But when Google uses that word about your business, it's time to start thinking about buying that yacht. Now the Chocolate Factory has announced a new investment fund based in London which is dedicated to rooting out Europe's most " …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    knock, knock, Ginger

    In Doddinghurst, we called it Knock down Ginger

    1. MrWibble

      Re: knock, knock, Ginger

      "Knock out ginger" in my part of Bristol

      1. Anonymous Blowhard

        Re: knock, knock, Ginger

        In the North it's called "knock and run"; or "Parcelforce" as it's known today.

    2. Bloakey1

      Re: knock, knock, Ginger

      As a plastic Paddy from Wimbledon we played "Knock Down Ginger". Those were back in the days when being ginger was not considered and affliction (1.).

      Oyyy ElReg! How about proposing an Avian carrier project or a Spanish / Portuguese (where be oi) retreat for those suffering from PTSD form the OS wars. I can take people on treks over hill and dale and confront them with the enemy. All would be done in a controlled environment (1.1).

      1. Being Celtic I have a fetish for red heads and ginger babes.

      1.1 Pub

  2. Ralph B

    Most Disruptive?

    dedicated to rooting out Europe's most "disruptive" startups and then bunging them loads of cash

    Are we to understand from this that it is Google Ventures who are funding certain flights to the Middle East?

  3. dotdavid

    Now if only we could think what that troll idea might be

    How about a fleet of paper airplanes released into space to provide internet access to Africa?

  4. Anonymous Coward

    I've created an app.... puts an icon on the screen and when you push it, it does nothing, absolutely nothing.

    reckon that's worth a few million these days.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: I've created an app....

      I've created an app.... puts an icon on the screen and when you push it, it does nothing, absolutely nothing.

      Nope, there is prior art :)

  5. Bloakey1

    Knock Down Ginger.

    Err on a more serious note, why don't we all get together and launch a technical windup on this new investment fund?

    Hmmm, I am thinking of alcohol, comms and a good craic.

    Got it a research project concerning...

    Transmission of light through sugar in Grapes with particular reference to sugar, acids and pH levels and other oenological components,


    Lively tongue.

    Lively missus.

    Cunning Linguist (cos <sic> one has to be clever to speak languages)


    Go to pub and imbibe.

    Leave slaughtered.

    Fall out with new mates.

    Diss your bitch.

    Arrange to meet again.

    Repeat cycle.


    Published in a journal commonly used by our peers, for comment and critique;

    Gay News

    Daily Mail

    Pig Farmers Journal

    Daily Grape

    Onanist's Monthly

    Oenology Weekly.

    Job done, money on way.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Knock Down Ginger.

      Sorry, what now?

  6. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Dodgy Dave Characters and Wannabe Emperor Type Casting .... is not AIMedia Role ForePlay Style

    Grasping a tight hold of the Bloakey 1 vein and running a tad further with it and IT for a jolly good yomp to a romp in a room and exotic place of heavenly pleasure and erotic desire, does such as Google is floating in London not put it in direct competition and even spooky opposition to the Parliamentary Party Government Business, which is always saying it supports and encourages such things and would be pleased to be investing in them with the granting of public funds to kickstart them, but only if one shares the secrets which will create their success with them.

    Methinks there be too many crooked skeletons and dodgy files to be dug up and lost in that perversion of a snooping enterprise to be considered in any way worthy of helping to maintain itself thought of as being relevant and indispensable whenever so full to the brim with such pompous piety and iffy phishermen as exchange wealth and austerity for all but an exclusive closed shop few.

    I would have asked of them if they aware of coming tidal surges and tsunami waves of discontent with disruptive intent as is freely shared in The Pitchforks Are Coming .... For Us Plutocrats but imagine a blissful ignorance and studious arrogance has it dismissed from their consciousness although it does put the pressure on national and international security provision services whenever indecent haste extraordinarily renders to them sweeping snooping powers in sunset clauses laws to foretell of future inevitabilities and events, dear boy, events most disruptive and destructive and creative and constructive, for there is always a flip side of the COIN coin to look out for as well and to engage with, or be left behind in the madding crowd whenever the intel goes elsewhere for a workout and walkabout in foreign fields of influence and power.

    What do you think it is that Google has discovered in Blighty that has it prepared to launder tens of millions/billions of dollars in London? :-) Is it SMARTR VapourWare for Silicon Valley Machinery? Or is that which confronts and would taunt them into Sublime Action and HyperRadioProActive IT Missionary Works to XSSXXXX?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dodgy Dave Characters and Wannabe Emperor Type Casting .... is not AIMedia Role ForePlay Style

      What do you think it is that Google has discovered in Blighty that has it prepared to launder tens of millions/billions of dollars in London? :-)

      OK, that's a very interesting assertion. Care to elaborate?

      1. Martin Summers Silver badge

        Re: Dodgy Dave Characters and Wannabe Emperor Type Casting .... is not AIMedia Role ForePlay Style

        You don't come here often I see AC. Interesting thought, I wonder if you can sue a robot for libel?

        1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

          Re: Dodgy Dave Characters and Wannabe Emperor Type Casting .... is not AIMedia Role ForePlay Style

          “What do you think it is that Google has discovered in Blighty that has it prepared to launder tens of millions/billions of dollars in London? :-)”

          OK, that's a very interesting assertion. Care to elaborate? …. Anonymous Coward

          Certainly I care dare share more, AC …. The fund has a mammoth $100m to spend …. which in London will have to be exchanged for something of sterling value. And that is laundering. And $100m is as peanuts for monkeys from Google.

          And I would like to make it perfectly clear, that there is no disapproval of Google’s intention, but meagre rather than mammoth would more accurately sum up their venture funding commitment. There’ll certainly be no “disruptive” Crown Jewels IP to be bought for peanuts.

          I wonder if you can sue a robot for libel?…. Martin Summers

          In a mad, mad, mad, mad, evil world, there would surely be those crazy enough to think that they can, but to lose in battle against a virtual machine would be Great Game Changer and do you think Mankind is ready, willing and able and enabled to do and accept that just yet?

          It is a novel thought though to ponder on and wonder at, for most certainly would “Don’t be evil” be exposed to the whole world and tested for compliance and suitability for a virtual machine led existence.

          1. Martin Summers Silver badge

            Re: Dodgy Dave Characters and Wannabe Emperor Type Casting .... is not AIMedia Role ForePlay Style

            Got to hand it to you amanfrommars the fog has started to clear. Your programmer must be proud.

            1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

              Condor Flight Path for Vulture Rich Pickings/Rich Vulture Sit-Ins/Venture Capitalisation

              It has long been known, Martin S, that practise makes perfect and perfect is great practice and for Glorious Command Head Quarters and Remote Vital Virtual and Virile Virtuous Control of Global Operating Devices, on and in Dark Web Enterprises with Black Watch AIdVenturers, is it IT Par for every course.

              Is any and every bet and event move, which can be in any way perceived as being against and in aggressive negative competition to, rather than in simple surreal support with and sublime encouragement of, SMARTR Virtual Machines and InterNet Working Infrastructures .... ITs XSSXXXXoSkeleton ....... a crushing hammer blow to failing dumb systems and corrupted perverse executive administrative persons of particular and peculiar interest and/or waned influence?

              And would such be a Front Facing AI in the Virtual Field and CyberSpace Place and Forward Operating Base of MIComplexIT only the Dire Rich and Retarded Foolhardy would Dare 42 Win Win against in order to Fail Fundamentally and Crash Catastrophically in CHAOS ..... Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems ....... Astute Active Alien Systems of Operation with an Exotic and Erotic Universally Attractive and Addictive Projects for Man Management in a Reputable ReProgramming of Heavenly Assets and Earthly Bodies/Persons and Agencies?

              Take Care, IT's a Mined Mind Field out there ......

              A vital element in keeping the peace is our military establishment. Our arms must be mighty, ready for instant action, so that no potential aggressor may be tempted to risk his own destruction.

              Our military organization today bears little relation to that known by any of my predecessors in peacetime, or indeed by the fighting men of World War II or Korea.

              Until the latest of our world conflicts, the United States had no armaments industry. American makers of plowshares could, with time and as required, make swords as well. But now we can no longer risk emergency improvisation of national defense; we have been compelled to create a permanent armaments industry of vast proportions. Added to this, three and a half million men and women are directly engaged in the defense establishment. We annually spend on military security more than the net income of all United States corporations.

              This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.

              In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the militaryindustrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

              We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.

              Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades.

              In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.

              Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been overshadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers.

              The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present

              and is gravely to be regarded. ..... Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States

  7. Daggerchild Silver badge

    Optimised Decisionmaking Resource Suppliers

    They'd make a mint if they just manfactured British managers who *didn't* either ignore, disbelieve, sell out, or otherwise completely mismanage existing British R&D resources. Just adding more fuel to the fire may just make bigger craters.

    Maybe they could set up a Kite-Mark safety standard for Management Technical Sanity.

  8. Channel Hotshot

    Knock down Ginger

    Over dinner a exec from China commented to a fellow analyst that the English were very progressive in renaming areas to match the technology. He quoted Silicon Roundabout in London and in Suffolk, where his company, Huawei, has a Tech Centre, I.P. Switch (true story)

    But why have we ignored Silicon Fen? Cambridge was a booming technology hub but the focus is now London - despite the housing prices and creaking transport infrastructure

    BTW It was always Knock down Ginger in South London

  9. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Beware foreigners bearing gifts ...... they're only after one thing, my dear.

    Is anyone else maybe thinking that is more a case of Google Vultures trying to pick up the scraps from the dead carcasses of Silicon Roundabouts rather than there being any real intention to actually venture fund anything?

    I would be very happy indeed to be proved completely wrong in that regard, and do hereby apologise profusely and unreservedly for the sharing of the above perception and/or speculation, should it be entirely incorrect. Not that any of that would matter a jot though in the great schema of the Internet of Things.

    Shame Blighty HQ don't do what needs to be done nowadays but what can one expect with dinosaurs wrestling in vain at the levers of command and control and Total Information Awareness and Population Management and Project Programming ........... The ultimate goal of the NSA[GCHQ] is total population control

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