back to article BOFH: Backup server's failed? We have a backup backup server

I bloody hate SRTs (or Server Room Tourists as they're more commonly called). "And... what does this one do?" the new Boss asks, pointing at a server front panel. "That would be the frontend of the company portal," the PFY nods knowingly. "And this one?" he asks, gesturing to the panel below. "The redundant frontend for …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. reno79

    I think I need a >ca-click< device for our data-centre tours

    1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

      They are brilliant

      We have one from when our server room was an "IBM Mainframe Room", but the halon system was stripped out before we brought the place so ours no longer does anything :(

  2. B4PJS



    1. Chika

      Re: Brilliant

      Shouldn't that be ca-click... BOOOMF?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "Anyway," the PFY says, taking the Boss around the back of a row of racks "Let's take a look at all the backend servers..."

    The PFY then proceeds to introduce the Boss to the rear end of all the servers he's just shown him, pretending that they're the backend servers.

    The Boss is so mentally taxed now that he's just nodding at NIC lights blankly.

    Just brilliant!

    1. Si 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: Classic!

      My favourite bit by far! I'm going to try that on my boss one day...

    2. Annihilator
      Thumb Up

      Re: Classic!

      Came to say exactly the same thing: "The PFY then proceeds to introduce the Boss to the rear end of all the servers he's just shown him, pretending that they're the backend servers."

      Quite possibly the best thing ever written.

  4. Mike Wood

    Pure Class

    Black Market Halon - I could do with a couple of tanks round here and not just for the server room.

  5. ukgnome

    Please order me 4 large tanks of black market Halon and some breathing apparatus.

  6. Chronos

    The Channel

    See, you lot are still stuck with the old hard/soft/service paradigm. The smart money is in HCQS: Halon, carpet, quicklime and shovels.

  7. Volker Hett

    Reduce Halon cost with a fireproof and airtight tape safe!

    1. nichomach
      Thumb Up

      Internal dimensions...

      ...being about 7ft x 3ft x3ft? You forgot soundproof...because the tapes are...sensitive to high frequency noise bursts, yes, that's it, especially in ranges oddly similar to, well, a human scream for instance...

    2. Robert Forsyth

      Surely propane or butane "refrigerant" is cheaper

      1. Grandad
        Thumb Up

        Those hydrocarbons should make it all go with a bang, how about ammonia?

  8. Steve May 1


    "It's servers all the way down"

    1. Anonymous Custard
      Thumb Up

      Re: Turtles

      Having been reading Science of Discworld IV last night, my very thoughts on reading the article.

      So have an upvote, and a Friday beer...

  9. Trygve Henriksen

    Accounting doing an audit?

    Remember that there's an even easier solution for that scenario.

    I figure that if it works on roaches, it probably works on beancounters also.

    It may even work on Bosses and departmental figureheads, too...

    1. jonathanb Silver badge

      Accounting just want to tick off a list of fixed assets to say they have seen them.

      Ask for a numbered list of the assets they want to audit, and put numbered stickers randomly on the kit to match the stuff they want to tick off on the list. If you want to really impress them, pick some very old stuff on the list and tell them it has been scrapped.

  10. Anonymous Coward


    Absolutely wonderful.

  11. pepper

    Always Halon

    When in doubt, Halon. A fine rule to live by! Fits right in with 'Nothing a little application of cattle-prod cannot solve'.

  12. J. Cook Silver badge

    The PFY forgot one machine...

    The server titled "GNDN"- it's the most important device in the entire room. :D

    Beer, because it's 5 pm somewhere...

  13. stephajn

    Customer Torture

    Now it appears the PFY's doing a Excuse-Calendar-like loose triple of: { { primary, secondary, tertiary, backup, redundant, sequentially-paired} { web, portal, financials, backup, authentication, ERP } { server, matrix, frontend, backend, core} }

    I have done something like this with certain doofus customers from time to time. They want to appear smarter than me even though they just asked me where the lowercase keys on the keyboard are. Once they expose themselves to having that level of ignorance, then it is GLOVES OFF BABY!

  14. Herby

    New multi box...

    What is needed is a nice big box that has changeable displays, with LOTS of blinken lights. Of course there will be nothing behind the "curtain", but that's not the point. You need something that "The Boss" thinks is important (read expensive). In the end, it could probably be driven by a simple Raspberry Pi box.

    I am told that old Connection Machines were pretty good at doing this.

    As for Halon: Just have a "backup suppression device" that is tied to a LARGE klaxon. The kind that really force "The Boss" out. Indicate that the suppression is virtual as well, but VERY dangerous (life threatening).

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Sow a crazy mad, mad, mad, mad whirlwind ..... and reap CHAOS Reigns with Tempestuous Storms

      Indicate that the suppression is virtual as well, but VERY dangerous (life threatening). ..... Herby Posted Friday 16th August 2013 18:16 GMT

      And so it is in the real world of the politically incorrect and inept and corrupt, Herby, with new fangled remote control of command and entangling systems of operation with global operating devices for super surreal and sublime and stealthy servering and service of Advanced Intelligence Networking with Future Provision of Present Supplies for Replacement of Failed Past Programming Programs and Pogroms via Regular and Alternative IT and Media Distribution Channels/Waves/Clouds........ Beta Pathed Ways.

      GCHQ Type SkunkWorks in Virtual Realms with Following Functions in Phorms, and easily plausibly denied and disowned, lest extant status quo systems be realised pwnd.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So no-one else is wondering

    What DId they spend 30 grand on? Seems a bit much for just some Friday lagers (unless they've moved to Norway)

    1. Trygve Henriksen

      Re: So no-one else is wondering

      30K ?

      That won't last long with the BOFH and PFY's hydration requirements...

    2. BoldMan

      Re: So no-one else is wondering

      Black Market Halon doesn't come cheap... ahem so I've been told!

  16. John H Woods Silver badge

    Boss Types

    "And so it goes. I'm generally happy with a Boss who either wants to know nothing about the hardware and is happily ignorant OR with a Boss who wants to know every little technical detail and is able to provide intelligent insight into our activities, but a Boss who wants to know everything and yet still be ignorant is pushing the envelope as far as my patience concerned."

    To enable one to select appropriate employment, all organizations should have X:Y:Z ratings (like NPK values for fertilizer) to measure these three categories.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like