back to article Google preps wave of machine learning apps

Google is preparing to unleash a wave of apps that get intelligence from its mammoth machine learning models. The apps will all rely on the neural networks Google has been developing internally to allow its systems to automatically classify information that has traditionally been tough for computers to parse. This includes …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    DistBelief was right

    The Internet is full of pussies of one kind or another.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Perhaps this shoudl have been filed under RotM :P

  3. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Big Brother


    The Singularity!

    Unfortunately it will be for ad delivery only.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Now, the Truth in Searching Fields for the Singularity.. the Sourcing Spigot of Everything.

      Soon! The Singularity! Unfortunately it will be for ad delivery only. .... Destroy All Monsters Posted Wednesday 19th June 2013 22:16 GMT

      Primary premium service is for apps delivery, Destroy All Monsters, sub-prime collateral bling is delivered by ads.?

      Are Google going to take and make a Quantum Communication Control Systems Leap into the Lead and Virtual Reality Production and Presentation Field ..... Doing No Evil in the Spaces Hosting Corruption and Perverse Practices ..... where Dodgy Putrid and Petrifying Deals with Stagnant Dead End Partners deliver the Madness and Mayhem of Conflict to CHAOS ...... Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems.

      Which suggests/strongly suggests/reveals that an Advanced IT Programming Project is readily and immediately available for Virtually Savvy Pioneers, Public, Private and Pirate.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One request

    Can they please teach their neural net to recognise certain elements of human anatomy? Safesearch is decent, but things can slip through even with a filtering proxy, and teenagers are happy to spend hours going through page after page of results until they spot something good.

    1. ratfox

      Re: One request

      If teenagers want to find porn on the web… They will find it. No amount of work on Safesearch is going to help.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They need to lock all these AI guys up in a room with bars, they're a menace to us all. How long before one of them lets one of their frankenbrains free on the interwebs? Where it can repetively examine the aggregated output of all of mankind over and over again. Each time applying what it has previously learnt to the content it takes in. How long before it 'realises' most of mankind is a complete waste of resources and starts plotting our downfall?

    1. Ru
      Paris Hilton

      Why would a sentient ad-server want to destroy humanity? Who would buy or view adverts then?

      Mind you, I'd fear for the safety of anyone who's ever contributed time or money to AdBlock...

    2. C 18
      Big Brother

      It's quite obvious to some that these points in time which you ask about are in the past. In such cases the lengths you ask about are inversely proportional to the time it will take to our downfall...which you seem to be fundamentally referring to, ultimately.

  6. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    So we've given up on any sort of technical accuracy, then?

    Machine learning uses neural networks that evolve through hierarchies of successively more specific stages to gain sensitivities for particular characteristics of data.

    No, it does not. That's one area of application of one approach to machine learning. That sentence is like claiming "compilation is the process of turning C source code into Windows applications"; unless it's already clearly embedded in a far more specific context, it's completely misleading.

    Has the Reg decided to run these rehashed Google press releases with no editing for technical accuracy? Is a trivial consultation of Wikipedia (much less a real source) too much too ask?

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