RIP heroic SPB playmonaut

This topic was created by diodesign .

  1. diodesign Silver badge

    RIP heroic SPB playmonaut

    We're obliged to all those readers who've offered condolences at the loss of our heroic playmonaut, who disappeared in the English Channel last week during a Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission.

    Feel free to share your thoughts here.


    1. Pronto

      Re: RIP heroic SPB playmonaut

      Dearly Beloved Bretheren,

      We are gathered here to remember the life experience of our Playmonaught who boldly went and explored the heavens. Our sympathies are with his friends at this painful time.

      Let us hope & pray that his end was quick and painless.

      Now let us repair to the Hostelry and drink a glass to his honour.

  2. Anonymous John

    So. Farewell


    Heroic Playmonaut.

    Twice you broke the surly bonds.

    Now you sleep with

    The fishes.

    E J Thribb

    1. Anomalous Cowturd

      Optional title here.




  3. Otto von Humpenstumpf

    Flotation device

    In order to secure the safe return to the shore, and hopefully to increase the chances of rescue of the ones following in the footsteps of the heroic, albeit late, El Reg playmonaut (I will forever think of him as Bob, because, well, he probably did), may I suggest a flotation device me added to his capsule for future launches. Here's the one I'm thinking of:

    Surely a small price to pay to increase the chances of survival in case of an unplanned splashdown, which is regrettably only too likely given that the launch site is situated *on a bloody island*.

    Obligatory disclaimer: I have no connection with the company producing the Water Buoy, nor do I know any of the people working for them. I'm just concerned about the chances of survival of future generations of Playmonauts.

    Pirates, because they might have rescued and abducted him.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Flotation device

      Floatation and GPS signalling device.

      No use in our brave souls being slowly bleached by the sun and sea if we can't track them.

  4. JT_3K

    There's always one

    I love the latin, but I have to point out, the line "Judicandus homunculus" translates literally as "judged small man". It really should be "Judicandus homunculus est" meaning "the small man is judged" (or some variation thereof).

    1. Irony Deficient Silver badge

      documentum hodiernum

      JT_3K, if judicandus had been used as a predicative gerundive, then your diagnosis of a missing est would have been correct. However, it was used as an attributive gerundive — i.e. “the to-be-judged little man” — so the addition of an est there would have been ungrammatical. As the punctuation showed, the first three lines formed a single sentence, and that sentence’s verb is resurget.

      Credit where credit is due: I merely made slight alterations to the last two stanzas of Dies iræ, which is a beautiful example of medieval Latin poetry. I’d like to think that I was the first to coin ludonauta in Latin, but I didn’t check to see if someone had done so before me.

      If you’re familiar with Ambrose Bierce, his inimitable “translation” of Dies iræ is worth a read, too.

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Let's be adults shall we

    Plastic toy penetrates body of water.

    The end.

  6. Elmer Phud

    The end?

    Maybe, just maybe, our 'naut will drift with the currents and eventually end up in one of the 'plastic islands' that have become an oceanic feature.

    There must be other equally adrift Playmobil people out there in large communities having been washed overboard from small ships, lost at sea with a parachute or accidentally flushed.

    Who knows whether the Lego people will be friendly?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He's not lost.

    He's not lost.

    He's on a deserted island somewhere.

    With Playmobil Mary and Ginger.

    And WITHOUT Playmobil Gilligan, Playmobil Skipper, Playmobil Professor, or the Playmobil Howles....

  8. phear46

    Having spoken to a coastguard.... He reckons if it did float it would very likely wash up... But the tide is strong in the channel and it could be out there for quite some time.

    So I guess there's still hope, albeit very little :(

  9. Mr Young

    I can't believe he's gone?

    I saw him just the other day and he looked really happy...

  10. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Nam Playmonam quidem Cumis ego ipse meis vidi in ampulla pendere...

    I believe that I have solved the question of our Playmonaut's name...

    Phlebas the Playmonaut, a fortnight dead,

    Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea swell

    And the profit and loss.

    A current under sea

    Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell

    He passes the stages of his age and youth

    Entering the whirlpool.

    Gentile or Jew

    O you who turn the wheel and look windward,

    Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you....

    1. Irony Deficient Silver badge

      … respondebat illa: ἀπο θανεῖν θέλω.

      (On the night before the launch…)

      I Tiresias, old man with wrinkled dugs

      Perceived the scene, and foretold the rest —

      I too awaited the expected guest.

      He, the young man carbuncular, arrives,

      The small test-pilot type, with one bold stare,

      One of the few on whom assurance sits

      As a silk hat on a Bradford millionaire.

      The time is now propitious, as he guesses,

      The meal is ended, she is bored and tired,

      Endeavours to engage her in caresses

      Which still are unreproved, if undesired.

      Flushed and decided, he assaults at once;

      Exploring hands encounter no defence;

      His vanity requires no response,

      And makes a welcome of indifference.

      (And I Tiresias have foresuffered all

      Enacted on this same divan or bed;

      I who have sat by Thebes below the wall

      And walked among the lowest of the dead.)

      Bestows one final patronizing kiss,

      And gropes his way, finding the stairs unlit…

  11. Neil Woolford

    For Pudney

    Do not despair

    For Johnny-play-in-air;

    He bobs around

    To certainly be found.


    Send out no boats

    For Johnny-off-the-coast;

    And keep your tears

    For him in after years.


    Better by far

    For Johnny-the-bright-star,

    To forge ahead,

    And launch again instead.

  12. Mr Young

    Long live Playmonaut!

    He's done anthropomorphism much better than any cartoon talking animals cinema guff?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not much of an obituary

    No age or even DOB, nothing on whether he left a family, no summary of his education and exploits.

    Also, not meaning be irreverent or anything (especially regarding the PARIS / LOHAN projects, which I revere), but have you thought about doing a 'Skyfall'-styple return from the dead? Just bring him back in a couple of months, no explanation need be offered if he gets right back into action, with perhaps a scar here and there.

    I hear the after X-mas sales in the UK are popular, so you may want to pop down early...

  14. Neil 30

    Consider his blue brother

    Have you though about asking his brother to take his place? He might not be as well trained but he has a strong heart and there is the 50% weight saving to be considered?

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