Post-pub nosh deathmatch

This topic was created by Lester Haines .

  1. Lester Haines Gold badge

    Post-pub nosh deathmatch

    The home of El Reg's post-pub deathmatch comment, debate and suggestions. Five per cent dietary fibre, 95 per cent saturated fat. May contain traces of nuts. Your statutory rights, and indeed your heart, are likely to be seriously affected.

  2. Code Monkey

    Wigan Kebab/Pie Barm

    Recipe's simple (pre-nosh lubrication is a given):

    Take one pie

    Slap it on a barm (a roll for you soft Southern pansies)

    Bit of gravy.


  3. jake Silver badge

    Post pub/wine-tasting grub? I can do that ...

    Pulled pork, preferably whole-hog smoked wild boar. Fish works. So does leftover grilled beef. If you're vegan, go with rice & blackbeans.

    Warm homemade corn tortillas.

    Freshly chopped pico de gallo.

    Simple cabbage, radish, carrot, & lettuce mix.

    Crema (Bog-standard sour cream if you're clueless).

    Cheese, if you insist (but neverwith fish).

    India Pale Ale to wash it down ... thus restarting the cycle ;-)

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Pork Gyros

    Greek take-away speciality - pork marinaded in paprika and oregano, grilled on a kebab spit, with a handful of fries, chpped onion and tomato, a pinch of salt, wrapped in a warm flat pitta with a dollop of tzatzki.

    Or you can lay it out on a plate as separate helpings, with the pitta toasted and cut into quarters.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Pork Gyros

      With the fries in there, it sounds Lebanese to me ... by way of Mexico City ;-)

  5. Radbruch1929

    Pork knuckles

    May I suggest grilled knuckle of pork, although this is usually eaten while drinking and not after.

  6. /dev/me
    Paris Hilton

    May I suggest 'Pain Américain'?

    No that's not 'pain' as in 'au' but as in 'French bread'. I gather it's being sold in France to homebound drunk people, and is basically French fries, hamburger (and/or sausage) on a banquette with ham, cheese, loads of sauce and optionally some green things that grow from the ground. I tried to create this, once, and I can still see the stains on the carpet. But I do have a vague memory of it being a worthy contender for this deathmatch.

  7. peter birch

    Ghip buttie bristolian style

    There's a pub under the m32 in Bristol does a chip buttie by hollowing out a full size loaf of bread, filling it with chips, and sticking the end back on. Add the sauce of your choice but if it's mayo i'll never speak to you again. Or ketchup. what happened to OK sauce?

    1. BristolBachelor Gold badge

      Re: Ghip buttie bristolian style

      If you're in Bristol, I'd recommend the small shack on the water front next to the old cranes and dock museum. I'dask for a BSE sandwich (Bacon, Sausage & Egg) Mmmm. I miss Bristol :-(

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    my recipe

    Here goes:

    a) wheel of brie, grossly diced

    b) pack of cream cheese (250g)

    c) sundried tomatoes, in strips

    d) basil, in strips

    e) garlic, finely diced

    f) puff pastry, rolled flat, thick and large

    combine ingredients a-e in a bowl, then dump in middle of pastry and bring the edges together to form a ball. Flip the ball upside-down (so the folds are out of sight) and bake for 30 minutes at 200°C. Let sit for 10 minutes before serving. Can be eaten either by piercing the shell and spreading the content on melba toasts or by dividing the ball like a pie.

    1. tanker1

      Re: my recipe

      Now that's a contender ... of course it is missing bacon but I'm pretty sure that can be remedied.

  9. Vladimir Plouzhnikov


    A Georgian dish, popular in Russia. Recipe with pictures here.

    P.S. The recipe is said to be Lena's but the pictures are of Natasha!

    1. Lord Voldemortgage

      Re: Chebureki

      Excellent suggestion.

      Looks a bit fiddly for the sort of inhibited kitchen skills we're likely to be employing but crucially I doubt that would really affect the eventual enjoyment.

  10. CyberSu

    Southern Grub

    Make curry to taste (I like pasanda)

    Take half a white roll and dig out the middle, leaving a clam shape of crust. Fill with curry and deep fry.

    This also works with half a white loaf if you're celebrating the rugby.

  11. Trokair 1
    Thumb Up

    Far Too Fancy

    Do any of you actually do all of this culinary workload after being a few pints in? Or the day after for that matter? Perhaps I am just lazy......

    Mix equal parts cheddar cheese, Prego tomato sauce, and cream cheese in a microwave safe dish. Add a clove of pressed garlic. Microwave on high until it liquifies and makes a huge mess. Pull it out to cool. Microwave 2 Red Baron 5 Cheese Garlic French Bread Mini Pizzas. Cover in prepared sauce. Add some ground pepper. Eat with fork.

    !!Bouns Points!! Add A1 Steak sauce if desired.

    I call it Wasted Braincells.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Far Too Fancy

      Prego ... Strike one.

      Red Baron so-called "pizza" ... Strike two.

      A1 ... Strike three. Yer outta here!

      To answer your preliminary question, towit "Do any of you actually do all of this culinary workload after being a few pints in? Or the day after for that matter?" Nope. Not in my case, anyway. I have homemade marinara in the freezer, homemade pre-formed pizza dough in the deep-freeze, and miscellaneous cheeses in my cheese locker. Herbs & garlic from the garden. Steak sauce is in mason jars, grandad's recipe.

      As to "Perhaps I am just lazy......" ... probably.

  12. mhoulden

    Have we done croque monsieurs or croque madames yet? What's not to like about a fried cheese and ham sandwich covered in cheese sauce and an optional fried egg? Even the Guardian had a go a while back.

  13. Lord Voldemortgage

    I read 'souse' as 'scouse'

    I don't know if scouse has already featured but if not it ought to be a contender.

    It could go up against champ, perhaps.

    Both excellent, unpretentious, post-pub options.

  14. Simon Lyon

    British Black Pudding v one of the Spanish equivalents

    From Wiki entry for Black Pudding, regional versions:


    Spanish morcilla has many variants. The most well-known and widespread is morcilla de Burgos which contains mainly pork blood and fat, rice, onions, and salt. In Albacete and La Mancha, the morcilla is filled with onions instead of rice, which completely changes the texture. In Extremadura the creamy morcilla patatera includes roughly mashed potatoes. In the northern regions and the Canary Islands there is a sweet variety known as morcilla dulce. Other varieties introduce breadcrumbs, pine nuts, almonds and vary the proportions of the other ingredients or flavorings, some of them considered delicacies.

    Comparison of whatever of the above is favoured in your region of Spain with the good old UK Black Pud?

  15. Louis 3


    Morcilla, the kind with onions and cloves, is the greatest sausage in the world.

  16. EddieD

    Burns' Night tomorrow

    So I'm grabbing your recipe for Haggis Pakora, adding Sag Aloo (tatties), and turnip dahl (neeps).

    I'll let you know how well it goes down. And hopefully it stays there.

    All the best,

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