BOFH: The Cloud Committee Calamity "Slipped in front of a bus. Fell FROM a bus. Fell in front a Circle line train. Jumped or fell off the Hungerford Bridge. Fell in front of a black cab. Jumped in front of a minicab; stepped into an open manhole; fell down some stairs; and crossed against the lights at Oxford Circus and was hit by a cab," the Personnel bloke …
Sorry to say despite being humourous at times BOFH is getting to be a tired worn out format, severely pushing the bounds of plausibility, even in the world of TV dramas, committing that many murders with the same MO would make you serial killer most wanted #1
Seems to be the easy backstop to fall back on, instead of creative blackmail etc
Just do the right thng and take the strip out and shoot it
Even in poorly written TV dramas both the protagonists would have been arrested by this stage, perhaps gunned down in a bloody shoot out in the yank version.
As a plot device it occassionally works, but it crops up too often and is getting repetitive. It seems like Simon is getting bored and just going through the motions with the strip (look at the difference in update rates)
I used to like BOFH, but the humour just hasn't been there recently.
Who said it had to be even remotely plausible anyway? It's meant to provide a good Friday chuckle and it definitely succeeds at doing that. Or did you leave your sense of humour at the door this morning?
I don't care if it's old and implausible, it made me laugh and that's all I needed from it. Thank you Simon!
Beer because that's what I'll be doing later on.
There's always "that guy" out there on the internet, and he thinks that *he* is the ultimate critic of all things, and that a writer doing their best to come up with fresh content just isn't up to snuff.
Just so you know, Mr. "Sole Arbiter of Taste on the Internet": We're not at all interested in your negativity. Simon does a a hell of a job coming up with fresh content that is still recognizable as BOFH material. If you don't like it, don't read it, and quit your bitching. If you're so damned smart, come up with your own and post it online, just so you can endure the pleasures of asshats bellyaching about a free read.
Its not supposed to be real or believable, its supposed to be funny.
Death rate up with an Arnie movie or Resident evil.
Plots familiar and crafted.
Clever linguistic devices.
what is not to like?
Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams? 'The Thick of it?' The new statesman? Blackadder? It is satire.
Simon thank you, glad to know you read the boards and my humble request was answered.
...as I gave to the person who was approximately as rude as you were about Verity Stob.
At the top of each article, you'll see a few words. These are called a title. They are there to give you some idea what the article is about. The BOFH articles always have the word "BOFH" at the start of the title.
If you don't like the BOFH, refrain from clicking on these articles.
You stick him on your p0rn proxy, spoof his MAC address to be the one you have been using for downloading. He now has access to the super high speed proxy, which he will get the benefit of for the next 2 days by which point HR will have removed him from the building. One removed, the rest warned for asking for faster internet.
Block their access to the entertainment/media sites like YouTube and internet radio.
Then give them the speed they asked for.
Then watch them try to weasel around, in order to justify access to these sites, which were what they wanted in the first place.
8 Mb total free space? No, you have 4 Mb free. Ha!
Actually, if Simon gets really creative with this, it could get interesting.
There are 8 people who potentially have blackmail material against the BOFH. How can he insure they won't turn on him? Failing that, how can he knock off all 8, quickly enough that none of his marks get word before the hammer falls? Can he perhaps turn one against another? Will the next episode start with "I want to play a game...."?
Now if one was a paranoid schizophrenic and working in Cloudy CHAOS fields, would that be a quite sublime virtual intimidation worthy of the spookiest of teams fighting a losing battle.
Thank goodness everyone's too crazy for that here.:-)
Hibernation over, Simon? Smashing.
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Thin clients proved popular didn't they? No? Lets rebrand it as "the cloud" and push the same nonsense but with a different veneer on it.
Don't get me wrong, I use my share of cloudy services but the majority of enterprises would suffer if they went "full cloud".
Same as virtualisation, again, I use more than my fair share of this wonderful technology but the bean counters have come up with a "75% of servers to be virtualised by xxxx" without any understanding of what this actually means or the possible impacts.
Keep "helping" these numpties BOFH & PFY, I need to live vicariously through you.
Ah yes, I love the bean counters and their plucked from the air figures.
I've lost count of the number who have been sent packing with a flea in their ear when I ask how exactly we virtualise the rather large custom interface cards all the physical boxes contain. I believe one is still asking suppliers to quote for a chassis with 36 PCI slots.
Beancounters will be blinded and confused by the terminology! As an example, think how many invoices for "virtual power supply" and "virtual LCD monitor" for each virtualised server you can redirect to the IT slush fund!
Hell, you can even then later invoice for the WEEE compliant disposal of those virtual LCD monitors. Virtual toxins used in the manufacture can be dangerous to Second Life/WoW players and leave the company open to expensive lawsuits...
The corpse count over the last year or so has been getting a bit silly. It is funny in a way, but the IT angle seems to be getting increasingly ignored.
Why is the BOFH busy killing off the committee when he could be looking for a way to eliminate the cloud proposal in a clever, IT related fashion?
Why isn't he installing a hidden agent on all the test group's PCs to slow them down or grab random pieces of child porn? Why isn't he finding a way into the cloud backend to mysteriously modify the files created? Why didn't he hack the company proxy to redirect references to the cloud to a private store somewhere else? Or have the testers' PCs mysteriously leak key files to each other?
Aside from which defenestration seems altogether too unreliable a method of eliminating one person. People DO survive falling out of windows.
Nah, noone would think to check where the security guards were at this time. They have always been in the BOFH back pocket.
Unless a faint whirring sound was heard shortly before the untimely demise, their last robots were getting much more advanced after all.
<please all imagine the black helicopter icon>
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