back to article Apple 'spaceship' awaits landing clearance in Cupertino

Apple boss Steve Jobs has pitched Cupertino's City Council with plans to build a new company campus on the land it recently bought from Hewlett-Packard. The company has outgrown its current home at 1 Infinite Loop in California. "We've come up with a design that puts 12,000 people in one building," Jobs told councillors. "It …

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  1. Paul_Murphy
    Joke

    That's not a threat is it?

    "The last thing we want is for anyone to get hurt," said Jobs.

    Just saying.

    ttfn

    1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
      Happy

      Well...

      This is what I read into that little story, "You either make sure we can stay or we take our ball and leave, you decide!".

      1. A Known Coward
        Big Brother

        @Fuzzy

        Yeah, the bit about moving to Mountain View was a clear threat, extortion even. Definitely not sinister ...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          possibly...

          Or they could be ready to be bought by Google. With a little work, that building could be converted into a Gigantic 'G'.

      2. Thomas 4
        IT Angle

        Hmmmm

        "We spend a ton of time identifying and hiring what we think are the best people in the world for doing what we do. The last thing we want is for anyone to get hurt," said the man who sources his components from a factory where suicide happens on an almost monthly basis.

        1. Volker Hett

          This wouldn't happen with HP

          They just fired the employees in Cupertino and moved to brazil.

        2. Giles Jones Gold badge

          Erm

          Who also produce components for Acer, Amazon, Asus, Intel, Cisco, HP, Dell, Nintendo, Nokia, Microsoft and Sony Ericsson.

          Good luck finding a computer or phone without parts from the above list.

      3. Volker Hett

        That's the way.

        We need more space for our business and we think we have a nice plan for a nice building in a nice park.

        If you don't like that, we'll oblige and don't spoil your nice obliterated HP remains.

    2. Code Monkey
      Boffin

      "The last thing we want is for anyone to get hurt,"

      Anyone outside of Chinese labour camp-style factories anyway.

    3. Lamont Cranston

      Luckily,

      Apple has subcontractors in China to handle "getting hurt" duties. Better known as Foxconn employees.

  2. Simon Round
    WTF?

    Next it will be a Horse's Head in Bed.

    "The last thing we want is for anyone to get hurt," Said Jobs

    Blimey. Didn't know that Jobs was a member of the Mafia!!!

  3. Greg J Preece

    Anyone noticed the centre?

    Very Apple - a nice, ringfenced/walled garden, surrounded by something pretty and slightly impractical.

  4. Midden View

    New address

    2 Infinity End (Beyond?)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Oversized Airport

    Looks more like an oversized Airport a hole in the middle.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really ?

    Someone caring about workers health and safety ?

    Don't tell Dave & Co.

    1. It wasnt me
      Thumb Down

      No ...

      ..... and don't tell foxconn either.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    "The last thing we want is for anyone to get hurt," said Jobs,

    with an evil look in his eye, as he sat gently stroking his white cat.

  8. geekclick
    Devil

    MMmmmmm

    Doughnuts ...

    Also anyone else notice the distinct cross hairs?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We've come up with a design that puts 12,000 people in one building

    This reminded me of the black hole of Calcutta. I trust apple ensures that all it's own workers and those of it's suppliers have slighlty better condtions than those found there.

  10. Graham Dresch
    Thumb Up

    The correct way to design a building

    Adequate car parking spaces for all the staff, should be a mandatory requirement for all planning applications is the UK

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The correct way…

      It already is, along with provisions for employees to use alternative mean of getting to their place of work.

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Devil

        Re: Re: The correct way

        Er, actually I think you'll find that it's precisely the opposite.

        For some reason, councils (and government) seem to think that by reducing the number of car parking spaces provided with a new building, more people will use public transport. Of course this does not work. What it does do is create a massive parking problem in the immediate area, resulting in the introduction of a resident's parking scheme (with paid permits) and charged short-term parking. This is of course the *real* reason for the nonsense, profit.

        They are obliged to ensure that developers provide adequate parking. The problem here is that anyone sane's version of adequate is currently running at about five times what a council thinks it should be.....

  11. jestersbro
    Meh

    Sycophants!

    Anyone else notice how easy it is for Apple to simply say that they ARE going to do something in Cupertino as opposed to to ask IF they can do something in Cupertino?

    Also his assertion that an increase of 20% in the working population on that site is small is plain wrong. It's an extra 2000 people a day, twice a day. Even with busses and bikes that is a lot of extra people all going on to one site every day.

    Ooh, ooh, ooh Steve! Notice me!! ME, STEVE, ME!!

    1. ratfox
      Gimp

      Understandable

      Seriously, is there anyway a sane city council would refuse a plan like that? I believe that Apple would easily have got the authorization with only half as much glitter, and without even having Saint Steve come hit them with the ol' reality distortion field.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    So the mothership is landing...

    And its time for the Cupertino city council to give up the funk?? :)

    Nuke icon, because Steve Jobs dropped da' bomb!!

  13. Blackbird74

    Nice curves....

    Curved glass all the way round? Hank Scorpio would be proud...

    1. Asiren
      Paris Hilton

      Wasted space

      Problem with curved buildings is that you can't get things up to the wall/up against the walls, which results in wasted space. Not very green.

      For details see: London Gherkin.

      No angles for Paris...

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Genius

    "It's a circle and so it's curved all the way around" - have Apple patented that sort of circle yet?

  15. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    An Apple Doughnut ..... now theres something Novel and Sweet .... and Sticky to Boot?

    GCHQ ...... ahead of its time ..... and a Big Brother Mother of a Leading Space Ship Complex which is destined for Cupertino Copying. Now there's a Jobs Quantum Leap in the right direction .... Bravo, Steve ...... http://www.fas.org/irp/world/uk/gchq/index.html ..... although Ballmer and crew will be cracking up at the balls of the upstart throwing dirty great virtual rocks at their steamy cracked Windows operation, which has lost its steam.

    1. David 164

      That was my first thought

      My first thought was that it looks a lot like GCHQ.

  16. -tim
    Gimp

    A great quote

    "We are growing like a weed" - Steve Jobs

    No kidding.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Curves?

    Glass for that sized radius can be flat but leave it to apple to pay to have it curved the tiny amount.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    And all you'll see from the street...

    ... is a multi-story car park.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      @Saggar

      Which part of most of the parking being underground did you not understand again?

      1. Steve Sims

        Not quite...

        Which part of "and this structure is a 4-storey parking facility" did you not understand?

        The majority of the parking will be underground, but there's a long building by the side of the highway that's going to be parking. So you'll struggle to see the donut from the highway, but you'll still be able to see it from most other directions, if you can spot it through the trees.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Design and build quality are important to Apple

    So it'll be drawn up by a Brit and build by the Chinese.

  20. PatC

    No Surprise ..

    .. it's supposed to look like a flying saucer: the Apple-ites already refer to the offices in Cupertino as "the Mother Ship" (least, the ones I know do)

  21. Robert Grant Silver badge

    It's a circle and so it's curved all the way around

    I can't believe it! The guy who "invented" the wheel copied Apple.

    1. Ascylto

      23456

      And if he was around today he'd be 'visited' by Apple lawyers!

  22. Arms Control Poser

    Introspection

    As a poster elsewhere said, it really is a walled garden.

  23. Peter Clarke 1
    Alert

    Launch iPad

    I didn't see specs for the sliding doors for launching rockets as per Thundbirds Tracey Island or You Only Live Twice Volcano.

    BTW does Steve own an island?

  24. TeeCee Gold badge
    WTF?

    "It's a circle and so it's curved all the way around..."

    Gosh, really? I wonder why they didn't go for one of those circles with the flat sides........

  25. Schultz Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Mistery Units

    Would anybody care to translate the IT based units in the article?

    What exactly is a "ton of time", and how can you do things "a zillion times better" than HP? This being apple, I assume it'll be a matter of the user interface.

    At least the comment about the circle ("curved all the way around...") not being the cheapest way to build something explains why everyone tries to copy the much cheaper square with rounded corners.

    Go Apple!

  26. Captain TickTock
    Coat

    The plans have a hollow ring to them...

    sorry.. not really

  27. Law
    WTF?

    akward

    anybody else feel incredibly uncomfortable at the amount of ass-licking going on by the people behind the desk? The main guy even whipped out an ipad to show to jobs, like somehow jobs may not have seen it before....

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