back to article BOFH: Ready for the Judgment Day

"THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY DEGREE FEEDBACK!" the PFY gasps "SOUNDS FANTASTIC!!!" "Really?" the Boss says doubtfully... "Somehow I thought that you wouldn't be all that keen." "Au contraire," the PFY responds. "We here and Systems and Networks are only too keen to know the thoughts and feelings of our clientele. We hope to …


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  1. paultnl

    Back on form

    Let me be first!

    1. caffeine addict

      I thought...

      all posts were moderated. So how did a 'first' get through? Actually, how come we often see "deleted by a moderator" messages?

      I don't know why I'm asking - I'm pretty sure this will never see the light of day. :)

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: I thought...

        So what? A firstie is a rare thing around here. You overestimate the extent of our give-a-shit, sir.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Re: I thought...

          Also, when you see that it says 'deleted by moderator', it indicates that a comment has been deleted by a moderator. Hope this helps.

          1. Ministry of Truth

            Mistress Bee

            God help us all if you every get hold of a cattleprod

            1. hplasm

              And yet another

              internet fetish is born...

            2. J. Cook Silver badge

              re: Mistress Bee...

              She's already got one; they are generally standard issue for forum moderators.

              (is moderator of the miscreants over in Livejournal's Techsupport community)

    2. Blofeld's Cat

      Well done

      "Let me be first!"

      I believe that makes it your round - I'll have a Guinness.

    3. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD

      You first?

      No, me.

      I hate sloppy seconds.

  2. Andus McCoatover

    And in other news..

    1. Blofeld's Cat


  3. Mermaid Dick
    Black Helicopters


    Who would dare to give a negative? And who would need to? (It's a long time since I dared to participate in one of those 360 degrees surveys).

    Nice piece. Loved it.

  4. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Wannabe Heroes and Global Operating Devices ..... the Flip and Flop Sides of the COIN Game

    "And the rest is history – and we all know whom history is written by.

    The Proxy... ®"

    And who writes the future for its historic fundamental base/enlightened source ...... Noble Sages/Foxy Savages/SMART Machines?

    Yes, of course they do.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is why BOFH is so good...

    ...It cuts just close enough to the truth to cause tears of rage!

  6. mark 63 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    the last line

    "history is written by.

    The Proxy.."


  7. Steve Robbins


    The PFY neglects to mention at this point that the negative and positive experiences he's talking about are those generally associated with an Alternating Current

  8. David 66

    Duke Nukem

    Hands-up who's already played it today? I got up early to download my demo so I could play it before work :D

    1. Paul Bristow
      Thumb Up

      I haven't played it yet...

      ...but I did already pre-order it on a credit card.

    2. Marvin the Martian

      DNF on a credit card??

      I hardly had a bankcard, let alone a CC, when I paid for my preorder.

      See also Penny Arcade from earlier this week... In my case I've actually had 12 house moves since DNF's announcement, so any hope for paper proof of preordering is nil.


  9. Richard Jukes


    Back on form indeed!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AC cattleprods?

    Cattleprods are DC, not AC.

    1. TheRead

      I find that bit of information

      positively shocking!

    2. Chris 15

      some words go here

      Although an AC Cattleprod would be rather interesting

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      AC Cattleprods

      Might be... but the PFY upgraded his cattle prod so an AC current would be needed at some point I guess...

      Paris well why not...

      I wouldn't mind an Amy Pond in police uniform and Emma Watson icon as well

    4. Why Me
      Paris Hilton

      AC Cattleprods

      Might be... but the PFY upgraded his cattle prod so an AC current would be needed at some point I guess...

      Paris well why not...

      I wouldn't mind an Amy Pond in police uniform and Emma Watson icon as well

    5. Grahame 2


      I think BOFH modified cattle prods use AC. AC is better choice as it is harder for the 'cattle' to get away.

    6. hplasm

      Is that you again?


      1. Anonymous Coward


        It's Nikola, let me show you my alternative.

        1. ArmanX

          Your standard cattleprod is fairly low voltage...

          Around 12 volts, if memory serves. But, they also come with a hefty battery. Given the addition of DC-to-AC at one end, a long line of AC capacitor+diode voltage steppers, and finishing with a few diodes and some really big inductors... you can turn a long, tingly zap into a short, leaves-a-crater zap. Plus, that lovely resonance in the human body causes certain frequencies to be much more devastating than others.

  11. Anonymous Coward

    DC is better

    You can't just slip away as you pass out. MOAR!

  12. stu wells

    360 degree feedback

    When filling out my yearly evaluation, since there was no formal feedback system on the night shift, I marked "YES" for "Participated in 360 degree feedback" and noted next to it that "I gave feedback all around". Got high marks that year :-)

  13. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    Brian Kernighan called...

    "Yeah, we recompiled your browsers ages ago. They don't use ssl like they should. The PROXY uses ssl instead."

    ... He wants his plot device back.

    1. red floyd

      @Ken Hagan

      I think that was Ken Thompson who wrote "Reflections on Trusting Trust"

  14. Peter Simpson 1
    Thumb Up

    Embraces diversity

    is one of the categories on our reviews. When reviewing my subordinate, who is of Hispanic (and other) extraction, I, of course, gave him full marks.

    //only a once yearly event, thank goodness.

    1. Marina
      Thumb Up

      Remember that one...

      Got the same question for the woman who "spreads warmth" at the office. Of course I gave her high marks. She cuddles with all the guys, regardless of origins!

  15. Grahame 2

    ssl proxies

    Actually you don't need to recompile the browser to intercept SSL wrapped sessions.

    Just install your own Trusted Certificate Authority certificate on the employee's machines.

    SSL session between the browser and the proxy uses a made up on the fly cert for www, and the browser trusts it as a valid cert because it has been signed by BOFHsign CA which it trusts :)

    So when at work worth checking actually who signed that cert you are trusting by clicking on that padlock :)

    1. Chad H.

      As the BOFH used to say....

      *Clickety Click*

    2. J. Cook Silver badge

      That sort of works...

      Our nanny filter does a similar trick in order to sniff https sessions.

      Firefox, IE, and Chrome all see through it when they try to verify the site's actual certificate, though. It could also be that it's not a root level wildcard cert. (which we probably should do, but that's playing with the kind of fire that we'd rather not play with.)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      how can you detect this?

      in either the user or host space?

    4. Decius

      Recompiled browser...

      Why would you trust that the browser would tell you who signed the certificate?

      Also, the proxy will detect when you try to download a compiler, and instead send you a modified version of said compiler. When you compile the source for your browser, the compiler will detect that you are trying to compile a browser and insert the desired anti-privacy features.

      You cannot create a trusted environment in an untrusted one.

  16. cd
    Thumb Up


    I just want to say that you're doing a great job, Sarah! ++++

    Good enough?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    this seems familiar

    Simon has worked for TwoLetter Acronym or its TLA predecessor has he ?

    Anon and cryptic in self interest. I know they are listening, but not hearing.

    The BS and shill count increases after every anonymous survey.

  18. Craig 28

    I love BOFH but...

    This one just felt really weak. Normally I don't complain but I much prefer actual victimisation of users, not just the promise of victimisation.

    Now how about a toilet refitted with retractable automated cattle prod and voice recognition?

    <groan> <thwup... kzeeert>

    Perfect way to catch problem users (all users unless proven otherwise probably...) when they least expect it.

  19. Anonymous Coward

    I was going to complain...

    ...that AC currents don't have positive or negative. But then I realised, they do: it just changes regularly. In fact, if it is a true sine wave, the change maps to a circle, so 360deg feedback indeed!

  20. bugalugs

    cattle-prod AC/DC

    Your classic battery-powered bovine-moving gimcrack uses a switch and relay to interrupt a DC current, supplying half a fairly square AC wave to the primary windings of a coil with a much larger secondary winding. Higher albeit amperically attenuated voltage results. That's the basic principle - generate, mirror, boost, tune etc. thereafter as you please. Send SAE for basic plans.

    git along little doggy

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