A good laugh is just what I needed this slow friday.
"You know what I hate?" the PFY asks one morning, looking up from a sheaf of bright pink pages. "Oooh!" I say "I know this! Short people. Short MEN to be more precise. Short men in authority positions. Short men in authority positions and Mac users. Short men in authority, Mac users and the fact that NO programmable remote …
I worked in enough companies to know that the "things to improve upon" is really just a blindingly obvious route to help you knot your own rope to either get a salary improvement rejected or to be part of the next round of budget cuts..
One specific had HR which really thought we didn't know how frightened they were to be hauled into court for constructive dismissal (which was their ONLY way to exercise redundancies) - we all knew the company would lose its ability to work with government. Muppets.
That was made of win. But damn it needed an editor to look over it closer. -_- Took a few moments to recognize that the joke about coming out of italics referred to a section that should have been italicized but wasn't.
There were a few other mistakes like that too. But I still laughed like hell, and that's the important part.
(hrm. My girlfriend is her department's H&S rep...maybe I need to take a closer look through her IT department's staff rolls just to make sure there's nobody there named Simon.)
I'm singularly glad that I'm neither short nor in a position of any authority despite being *proudly* and enthusiastically a Mac user - hence the anonymity as a method of ensuring my own protection.
I am ashamed to admit that our friends at Apple have long been a potential root cause for one that whole screen-as-computer thing, having championed that all-in-one-box concept right from the very first Macintosh - although the TRS-80 Model III (the big bro' of my first ever computer) was a fine example of an earlier variant on the theme - to the current iMacs. Still annoys me though!
Anyway, that's my two penn'orth and I'll slink out quietly now...
The Mac Platform is then an already made and readily made Private and Pirate Cloud System with Virtual Private Networks in APPLed Operating System?
AI Leading Question for Steve to Savour and Ponder on Rightful Corporate Plunder for Heartily Deserved Treasure.
The secret of winning is not to play a losers' hand, and to play a new twist in games, has one dependent upon winning rules, with simple instructions to follow and remember to never forget for the playing of perfectly fair games with all knowing and abiding by agreed codes of conduct ...... programming.
Did my head and health in, don't know if I can 'claim'. Probably got the wrong sort of head.
Anyway having consumed immense amounts of vodka in an effort to fill it out I screwed it up and filed it down the toilet with added dump on top.
'Deadline' arrives and the conspirator asks me where mine is. Don't know why he had to ask in the design office. Could have caught me in a quiet corridor or the toilet or asked me into his office.
I tell him that it was bollocks and I threw it away.
No, seriously, I was not looking for effect I was just pissed off at the the the... ARGHH!!!!
I have 'issues'.
The rest of the design office crouches and stifles snorts and 'Dave' has to leave the locale for some reason whilst I get an invitation to 'The War Room'.
Here it is explained to me that 'top man' instigated it as being a good idea and if I do not fill it in I will be dobbed in to 'top man'.
Go ahead then.. End of Meeting.
Ho-Hum, sucks to be unemployable.
I was REALLY hoping that meant that either Simon or the PFY would be wreaking havok at The Gathering(big lan party here in Norway during easter. Second largest in the world, after the Swedish DreamHack, of course)
5200 lusers, all deserving a closer aquaintance with the cattleprod...
Probably quite a bit of decent HW that needs to be rescued from neon-lighted computer cases, too.
I'd smack you around the ears with a manual, except I bought eCS v2.0 (OS/2 with lots of updates and goodies) as an electronic download.
Hm... Got an old ring binder with OS/2 1.3, MS Lan Manager 2.2, MS SQL Server, UB Netdirector 16... I'd smack you with that, except... it's too bl**dy heavy...
That PFY scribbling part had me crackin' up!
Yeah, Mac User (notice name), but have Linux at home. Macs at work, because its easier for the lusers....
Would love all Linux boxes, but ah well....Gonna be moving to those eventually since the XServe was discontinued.
Fruit computers. XD
Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021