back to article Lindsay Lohan to pull off Linda Lovelace

Lindsay Lohan has landed what has been described as "one of the most challenging roles any actor could play" - that of portraying 1970s grumble flick star Linda Lovelace. According to Variety, talented 24-year-old thespiatrix Lohan will interpret the Deep Throat pornstress for an indie production entitled Inferno, …

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  1. Neoc

    Egads.

    "Lindsay Lohan"... "Linda Lovelace"... for a moment there, I thought I was trapped in a Superman comic ("Lana Lang", anyone?)

    1. John 62

      or spiderman?

      Peter Parker; J Jonah Jameson; Green Goblin; Doc Oc[topus]. and further into Marvel properties like Silver Surfer

  2. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    Um

    I've seen Linda Lovelace's work, and unless she's had some strange surgeries since the '70's, I think she lacks the equipment to be "pulled off". But perhaps I read the headline wrong...

  3. jake Silver badge

    Why?

    The original was sad enough.

  4. Goat Jam
    Paris Hilton

    A title goes here

    One would think that a Mcdonalds advert would "take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off"

  5. Discojim

    Full Title

    Of course, we all know from Coupling that "Inferno" is not its full title

    1. Lith

      But

      Is it the same film about the group of amatuer feminist film makers who attempt to disincentivise the film making process?

    2. Sooty

      it's not even original

      There is already an Indie film (film 4 sponsored i think) called Inferno. That's even got a porn actresss in it as well as lots of quake 3, what more could you want :)

  6. Michael Xion
    WTF?

    "Talented thespeatrix"

    Since when? And I'm not even going to get into debating whether thespeatrix is a word.

    Interestingly, Linda Lovelace's biography detailing her traumas and abuse at the hands of the porn industry was banned in more American states than the films she featured in - go figure.

  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    No swallowing jokes please.

    We can work most of them out for ourselves.

    It's not really a coat, more an off color Macintosh..

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another deployment of the LiLo Movie Advertising Plan

    It goes something like this:

    Step 1: Sign the trainwreck to your movie

    Step 2: Rake in the attendant publicity

    Step 3: Sign up more investors on the back of Step 2

    Step 4: Wait a bit

    Step 5: Widely publicise that you're going into production

    Step 6: Wait a bit

    Step 7: Release rumours of tardiness and poor acting on La Lohan's part

    Step 8: Sack her

    Step 9: Get someone who can both act and turn up on time

    Step 10: Release completed movie with attendant stories about Lohan's non-involvement

    Easy-peasy.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Who forgot the funny headline?

    "Lindsay Lohan Does Deep Throat"

  10. Number6

    Turned Down

    She was also offered the chance to play Lorena Bobbitt but due to being very busy, she didn't want to bite off more than she could chew.

  11. stuartrc

    This just has disaster written all over it

    Nuff said really

  12. Moz
    Paris Hilton

    "difficult stuff she went through and overcame"

    I think she was overcame quite a lot...

  13. Kai Lockwood
    IT Angle

    Ummm...

    What the crap is this? Have I accidentally found my way to Vouge.co.uk?

    IT angle? Real life relevance? Or are the poor wags starved for a bit o' flash in the office?

    Beside, even the new Itaniums are sexier that LiLo these days. (OH SNAP!)

    1. Test Man
      Thumb Down

      Nerd

      Nerd.

  14. Rattus Rattus
    Coat

    As an actress,

    Lindsay Lohan blows.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    hang on a minute.....isnt LL a...

    VEGITARIAN !!!!

    ie... SHE DOESNT EAT MEAT

    unless it comes like a KEBAB (but we all know that aint meat anyway)

    no doubt a body /face double will be used for the closeup's

    LL/PH pahh! bring back Tracie ;) we still luvs u...

  16. Mage Silver badge
    Linux

    so..

    No connection to the Ada Lovelace film, not even a lesser known relative?

    I sure the readers here are more familiar with Ada and have never heard of Linda.

    Esp. Tux.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Happy

      @Mage

      "No connection to the Ada Lovelace film, not even a lesser known relative?"

      Could be she asked for the *wrong* script.

  17. EddyS
    Troll

    Who the hell

    is Lindsay Lohan?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      I don't really know....

      But she started appearing in the transit newspapers here (in Canada) like Metro some time ago.

      Like Kim Kardashian, she seems to be one of these nobodies that is famous for being famous.

      Now there's a bootstrap problem for you...

      From what I gathered, she did some film work at some point.

      Now, from what I read, she seems to be confused about her sexuality, whether or not to eat meat and I think drugs are probably in the mix somewhere. Man, she is confused.

  18. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Dream Casting for Champion Amateur vs. Professional Groom Shoot Out

    Lindsay on a Labour of Love ...... A Particular and Peculiar SupraNational Passion .

  19. Blake St. Claire

    Where's Ms. Bee?

    The last time LiLo was in the news Ms. Bee had plenty to write about it. Quite entertaining actually. Ms. Bee that is; not LiLo, whose alleged film clip doesn't seem to have ever materialized.

  20. ColonelClaw
    IT Angle

    Depths, she can plumb them

    a) From an IT perspective, I'm hoping Lindsay takes this opportunity to showcase her splendid breasts and front-bottom.

    b) Re: point a), considering contemporary tastes in pubic coiffurey, will a merkin be required? My exhaustive research has led me to believe that Ms Lovelace preferred a laissez-faire attitude to her muff-management.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      'nuff said?

      'muff said?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ermm...

    "...gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off"

    "...she's been through a lot of ups and downs"

    Quite appropriate...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    Porn Star In Training

    Inferno will be Lindsay's training film for her inevitable slide into the porn world at the rate she is going.

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dunno, this could be tought for Lindsay

    she's going to have to portray a real live person and most thespians channel some sort of real life experience for the roles they play.

  25. David Lawrence
    Coat

    Hard to swallow?

    As if I would lower myself to a gag like that..... when there are plenty of better ones, like....

    "I don't mind Reg reporting on this kind of thing but I don't want it rammed down my throat"

    or

    "Lindsay met with some stiff opposition but managed to beat them all".

    Mine's the one right next to Bernard Manning's........

  26. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    I find my self wondering

    Is the moderatrix a possessor of the red gene?

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