back to article BOFH: On the couch

Don’t get me wrong. I’m as likely to get workplace trauma counselling as the next guy – especially when the company’s tame shrink is an ancient old boiler who was probably there when time was invented. Still, as luck would have it she fell to her death from her slippers a couple of weeks back and the company was forced to …


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  1. Isendel Steel


    Hooray - 2 weeks on the "trot" so to speak.

    (obviously the 5 minutes early were spent knobbling the recording devices as well)

    Beer for Simon

  2. David_H


    "tampered with the brakes and accelerator on my car so that touching either increases the speed exponentially"

    Don't work for Toyota in your spare time do you?

  3. Jeroen Braamhaar
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    HE'S BACK!!

    And he's got a portable bulk eraser, vehicle modification toolkit and more electrical discharge goodies!

  4. Bitman
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    Bloody marvellous, Simon, as ever.

  5. ardubbleyu

    Horse Laxative...

    Icon says it all...

  6. DJV Silver badge

    Best this year!

    As above

  7. Anonymous Coward

    I don't believe it...

    The BOFH being honest? To a shrink?

    I sense a disturbance in the force. It might even be the coming of the giant white handkerchief.

    I can only suspect that the shrink is working for the PFY in some contrived double double-cross cackle-bladder

  8. Simon B

    f'king loved it!

    f'king loved it - top stuff, good to see both writer and BOFH back on form :D

  9. StarMonkey

    Back to awesome

    BOFH is back to its best again - hurrah!

    Troll - for the electrified hair-do.

  10. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Government Health Warning

    “Sure. While I respect his ruthless quest for advancement I also must temper his ambition with the fear of reprisal - or I’d be forever looking over my shoulder." ..... Rule #1, and very wise, even if a tad sad and traditionally paranoid :-) And that following gem of faultless justification reasoning for anyone sane enough to care about consequences is what makes Friday's BOFH lesson, priceless.:-)

    And the moral of the #1 tale? .... #1 is #1 always, even when they are #2 and #1 is a newer version of #2?

    Mayhem and Sexy Shrinks ..... a Heady Cocktail indeed for any day including Fridays. It is almost enough to encourage Madness. :-)

  11. Tony Barnes
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    Nice one!

    Back on form - and SCHEDULE, can't complain with that!

  12. DRendar
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    First BOFH in a long time that I've actually Laughed Out Loud to.

    Well done Simon! Keep them coming!

  13. Tom Ranson
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    “Yes, I’d recognise that exhaust anywhere. That’ll be the PFY off on an unexpectedly fast circuit around the parking basement in his car.”

  14. Craigyb

    Good work

    Most amusing Simon, keep up the good work

  15. Anonymous Coward


    you owe me a new keyboard for that one.

    should have learnt by now not to have coffee and read BOFH at the same time...

  16. Chris Griffiths
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    Back on form

    He sabotaged the boss, sabotaged the PFY, had a slap-up meal on the company expenses and even had time left to get the girl.

    The xmas break did him good - the old BOFH is back in force.

  17. Duncan Robertson 1

    A Friday treat twice in two weeks!

    Superb Simon! And yes two on the "trot" - lovely!

  18. blackworx
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    Best this year!

    aye +1

  19. The Gopher


    He's back with a bang, and maybe he's only telling the truth so far.. I mean what better way to get rid of the boss and be able to BLAME it on someone else I wonder if a bean counter will be taken out.. I think the shrink is next to Security for her own safety and also maybe as she's colluding with them and or the bean counters!

    I'm sure the PFY will be fine, the boss will too hopefully...

    I'm sure also that the PFY will get back to colluding with the BOFH soon.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A minor fly in the ointment

    Rat poison can be a little too quick nowadays. I mean, you need to give the laxatives and viagra plenty of time to kick in so you can get the incriminating photos to pass around at the funeral.

  21. Anonymous Coward

    I remember...

    When BOTH was funny, considerably more believable and actually involved stupid users getting their just desserts. Sigh.

    1. Blue eyed boy

      @I remember...

      Don't panic. Theis entire series is a dream sequence, like they did in Dallasty. Once BOFH wakes up everything will be back to normal (whatever "normal" means in this context) once more.

    2. Russ Tarbox

      I was about to write the same thing.

      You saved me the bother.

  22. Anonymous Coward

    ..the chair with electric contacts!

    what happened to it? left on a bit of a cliff-hanger here!

  23. Chris 35

    Hmmm... Honesty?

    Right next to the security office? I'm wondering when the whole building will "mysteriously" collapse, silencing everyone inside. Cue the relevant lawsuits from Simon and the PFY, insurance claims etc...

  24. Martin.Hale

    Gotta Go With Those...

    ...commenting on the pleasure of reading BOFH two weeks running.

    Now, I understand in my intellect that Simon has other responsibilities. And I know in my head how challenging a serial becomes with respect to keeping it creatively fresh and entertaining. And I realise there are other reality-based issues and concerns which are more important than entertainment.

    But still and all, Friday just isn't Friday without a BOFH episode to brighten the day and set the tone for the weekend.

    All appreciation to you Simon.

  25. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    Tme for change

    I really must see if I can get my working hours altered so I can read these instructional psychological missives at a reasonable hour (say 1pm).

  26. Sir Runcible Spoon


    Proper LOL moment - thanks :D

  27. salada2k


    Good to see you back on schedule and in fine form, Simon!

  28. Kurgan

    Horse laxative?

    The horse laxative really got me! I have never considered before that it actually exists... and it must be a real shit-tornado nightmare!

    1. Aaron 10
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      I love that the vet was called in to help the boss after ingesting the horse laxatives, not a GP.

  29. Lykofos


    Ah yes, it is good to see the BOFH back to is his usual antics.

  30. Paul
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    back on top form

    excellent, back on top form. and I get the feeling that it was written and properly proof-read unlike some in the past which seemed a bit rushed.

  31. Jeff Power

    The title is required, and must contain etc, etc.

    "Remember when I said it was what I'd do? As it happened it's what I did do."

    That's the stuff.

  32. mittfh


    Now IIRC, the BOFH and PFY are on good terms with Security. After all, the security cameras have to have a temporary fault just at the moment someone trips over their shoelaces at the top of the staircase, so no-one will ever find out there were certain other parties present at the time. Whether that has any relation to the Councillors office is another matter entirely...

    But you'd think that after his two week course, the PFY would have learned to be just as cautious of what the BOFH would do to him as the BOFH is cautious of what the PFY would do to him.

    No doubt once they get over this temporary feud, they will put their competitive rivalry to good use - by trying to outdo each other on ensuring they are nowhere near the latest victim of a staircase fall, corporate espionage attempt, or other means of removing other employees from the payroll. And of course, the more elaborate the "accident", the better :)

  33. Anonymous Coward
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    Now that..

    is classic BOFH, it was complete devastation with not a care for anyone but himself and the lass in his sights, *sigh* good to see a top BOFH

  34. Anonymous Coward


    Awesome work, Simon. Best one I've seen in quite a while! Definitely owe you a pint if I'm ever in NZ!

    And I'll make sure to skip the horse laxative - the last thing I need to be doing is driving a Toyota!

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