back to article BOFH: Forgive and forget

They say the secret to a good relationship is to be able to forgive and forget - and so I'm working hard on the forgiving bit with the PFY. He, for his part, is working on the forgetting - which I'm told is a perfectly normal by-product of ECT - even though a lot of private hospitals frown on the use of it unless it's …


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  1. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge

    Welcome back Simon

    Managed to get back from your holidays despite the volcanic ash clouds...

  2. MercDraco

    Set the Knob To...

    Glad to Have you back Mr.Simons, and way to show the counters of beans how good they had it during Steven's Reign...

    *scrathes the 11 off the receptionist's notes and replaces it with 21*

    Now if you'll excuse me, i'll just grab my coat, it's the one with the key to shed 4 in the pocket...

  3. Chad H.

    More lives than the doctor.

    I knew he'd be back... Better than ever.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Outsourcing at it's best

    Beancounters won't let you have your own supply cupboard for cattle-prod batteries... outsource the electric shock treatment.

    Great theory.

    Just waiting for the hydrogen fuel-cell powered cattle prod now (environmentally friendly, you know)

    I liked the "well-oiled supermodels" too :)

  5. Samo



    That is all.

  6. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Thumb Up

    Back in charge


    we need a cattle-prod icon

    Ah, it's Friday

  7. Uk_Gadget

    My Boffa's Back...

    ...and were gonna be in trouble, hey la le la........

    Welcome Home :)

  8. VeNT
    Dead Vulture


    get in! he's BACK!

  9. Tinal
    Thumb Up


    Ah, Simon, the PFY is good, but you're DAMN good.

  10. Emma Summers

    Am I dreaming...

    ...or it is Christmas? Who cares the BOFH is back!!

  11. Graham Dresch

    He's Baaaack

    Somehow I always knew the BOFH wasn't dead

  12. Manas Straw

    I like it...

    When stuff is turned up to 11.

    Pity about the smoke though.

  13. Duckorange
    Dead Vulture

    I'm beginning to see the benefit...

    ...of bringing a large shovel and a coule of sacks of quicklime to meetings in order to get things moving. Does this make me a bad person?

  14. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Bit of a strange one today...

    I'm struggling to work out whether the PFY was the cause of Simon's disappearance, or whether he did it on his own. I mean, if the PFY had actually attempted to dispatch the BOFH, how come Simon managed to claim the accident compensation (after all, you cannot make a claim for yourself if you are 'dead'), especially if you keep having your life support machine broken.

    I feel that this story could have been much more (although maybe it is, and I am just commenting too early)

    And why the requirement to stitch the PFY up with a potential fraud if you intend to let him back to work? It would make him more likely to try to get a 'promotion', especially if Simon is using that information for some form of blackmail.

    Anyway, hoping that there is more details of this story to come.

    1. I didn't do IT.
      Thumb Up

      Part of the plan...

      Quite simple, really.

      If the PFY is classed as "mentally disturbed" (by the late and tragic accident suffered by his immediate supervisor, natrually), then he has a cop-out for the fraud charges.

      Some time in the hospital until he can be realigned to the right of the world (by Simon's standards... hehehe), and he can then return to his job as the money was recovered (most of it) and HR can simply class this all as work-related disability (thanks to that additional CCTV footage, of course). Simon pockets the disability payments, and the PFY can hardly begrudge him that as both are back where they should be.

      A masterful plan by the master himself.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        That's it

        And it' great to see every one back where they belong - BOFH and PFY charge, and beancounters in deep s***, ahem, trouble.

  15. JonnyX
    Thumb Up

    Welcome back..........

    BOFH for the first time this year!

  16. Andrew Moore


    ...out of the shower I see.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    What... no one wants to comment on the BOFH being back alive and kicking?!

  18. Reality Dysfunction
    Thumb Up

    of course...

    we knew it could not be true..... nice

  19. dispatch


    Welcome back, Simon... and well played.

    The heart is for the camaraderie.

  20. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Funny Farm Ecology ...... for Acid Testing MkUltraSensitive Browser Trips

    Just what would we do with these therapy sessions, Simon?

    I suppose some WAG will chirp in now about how that says as much about an alien lifestyle as about anything or everything else, and of course it would be always good practice to not disagree and to encourage further dissertation on the matter ....... aka in Winners' Enclosures, Doing Automatic Remote Eponymous Delving.

  21. Andrew Culpeck


    Of coure you are not bad just inproveing business efficency.

  22. SigKill


    I knew it.

    Nothing can kill a real Bastard.

    Not even another Bastard.

  23. StarMonkey
    Thumb Up

    Revenge is...electrifying!

    Hehehe well I think we all knew it couldn't be the end, but I think he's still going to have to keep a look out!

  24. Chika

    Turn the knob to 11?

    Damn Spinal Tap gets everywhere...

    Heeee's baaaack!!!

  25. tagno25
    Jobs Horns

    Not Dead

    Glad to See he is not dead, just took a trip overseas.

  26. CanadianISP

    He's back - Life is good!

    The universe is back in balance - The BOFH is BACK!

  27. Russ Howe
    Thumb Up

    *Sigh of relief*

    Aaaahhhhhhh. I knew this would be the case. Nice to see you back and still in good form

  28. Andus McCoatover
    Thumb Up

    There is a GOD!!!

    BOFH's back! Don't forget to collect your clothes from the beach...(bitch?? Whatever floats your boat.)

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    It's once again a proper Friday

    Huzzah the BOFH is back. We missed ye'. Though the PFY running amok was great fun :-).

  30. Anonymous Coward

    well-oiled, indeed

    Nicely done.

  31. Will Godfrey Silver badge


    Had to wait till evening to see this gem.

    The question is, will the PFY become more circumspect (sneaky) or will he attempt a brazen full onslaught?

  32. Misoriented

    I see a water tower in your future...

    The BOFH used to be an asshole with a heart of, if not gold, then copper. Well, zinc maybe. Anyway, now it sounds like he's sliding more into the realm of "serial killer".

    "It approves the expense report or it gets the cattle prod again."

  33. Anonymous Coward

    a question...

    Is PFY at the hospital where they treated Alex?

    Cheers, Simon.

  34. Gordon Grant
    Thumb Up

    One thing you can't do....

    is kill the BOFH with some dodgy tinsel, I mean electrocute him, slice n dice him and then burn him, then maybe just maybe he'll stay dead...

    The PFY will erm "forget" anything about what happened while the BOFH was away but he'll be more wary and the money will somehow "turn up" or a note dropped anonymous off to HR..

    Hmm the beancounters had best look out....

  35. ShadowDragon8685

    He's baaaack, he's baaaaaack!

    Oh, this has made my quarter!

    The Bastard is Back in Black. (At least, I presume he wears black. How could he not? It's the only color strong enough to contain his awesomeness.)

    I, for one, welcome the glorious return of the Bastard; another thousand years may he reign!

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    First true BOFH of the year

    Brilliant. So the PFY comes out shaken, and the Beancounter goes in for the electric chair.

  37. DI_Wyman
    Thumb Up

    BOFH is..

    .....back and all is as it should be!

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