back to article Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

In shock* news it has emerged that a group of sheep in America, out of their minds on Class A drugs, have been repeatedly blasted using controversial electric Taser stun weapons. Rather than some kind of degenerate drug-fuelled brouhaha indicative of the moral decline among America's sheep community, the ovine electro-stunning …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Poor sheep

    Just test them on Meth/crack heads - who cares if they die? actually that would be one way to cure the scourge of drugs.

    1. TimeMaster T
      Black Helicopters

      Wouldn't help

      When the meth heads are gone the gov will just make something else illegal to keep the crime numbers up to justify the crackdowns.

      Eventually energy drinks would get banned and we would be hearing about "Bull heads" getting tazed.

    2. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
      WTF?

      @AC 15th April 2010 08:25

      I take it you don't use any psychotropics, then? No alcohol, tea, coffee, nicotine? If your answer is that you don't, then you are justified in making that comment. If it isn't, you are a bigotted tw*t.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They wouldn't mind

      Meth-heads wouldn't object to getting tased in return for free drugs. ("Psst, meth-head - want some free meth? All you have to do is take part in a little experiment...")

  2. SuperTim
    Joke

    I wonder.....

    If Andriods will be dreaming of these sheep then?

    I really must apologise........

    1. Elmer Phud

      apologise?

      for the spelling?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Poor sheep...

    Using sheep as a human model for such a physiological complex interaction? Yeah, I can't see any problems there.

    If they believe it's safe, surely Taser employees should be testing them on one another?

    1. JBR
      Flame

      PR causing animal cruelty

      This experiment is nothing more than a puff PR piece. My problems with it

      - I think I'm right in saying sheep react physiologically differently to opioids, and in fact to many medications. That's why they aren't lab animals (that and they are very tasty...)

      - Did any of the sheep also suffer from diseases humans sufffer from - heart disease etc.

      - More to the point, were any of the sheep in the poor condition (Hep C, HIV etc.) that a significantly higher number of drug addicts suffer from

      - Why do smaller ones suffer from increased cardiovascular problems when being tasered? Does this mean we can taser everyone over 16 stone, or over 8 stone?

      Total crock, whoever authorised this "experiment" needs to be tasered til they mess themselves. It's the only way they'll learn!

      1. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge

        You're right, and wrong

        Wrong: Methamphetamine is not an opioid, it is an amphetamine (the clue is in the name). These work in a much simpler way. Opioids act differently between species, as they act upon the brain, and mammalian brains tend to vary substantially between species. Amphetamines are smaller molecules that act on the metabolism. There is much less variation in this between species, particularly mammals.

        Right: Sheep are not the best model for human physiology. Pigs are better.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Black Helicopters

          Testing, testing

          @Ed Blackshaw:

          "Right: Sheep are not the best model for human physiology. Pigs are better."

          But... I thought the police were supposed to be the ones on the trigger end of the taser?

        2. Marvin the Martian
          Paris Hilton

          @Ed Blackshaw

          Well, they asked some mules but as expected they stubbornly refused. So they just told the sheep to get on with it, and they complied.

      2. Richard 120

        RE: PR causing animal cruelty

        It was probably cheaper/easier to get away with the testing on sheep, Animal rights activists probably don't care so much about them (because they are so tasty) they'd probably have to get through a lot of legistlation and protestation if they wanted to use something closer the requirements.

        It's probably a lot more dangerous to meth up a bunch of primates too.

        I wouldn't really want to be trying to taser some tweaked out chimp.

        From a scientific viewpoint I have no problem with testing on animals, what would you suggest?

        Testing on humans? I suspect that there might be some legality issues there, even if there wasn't the expense could be horrendous when you have to pay out after the tests prove that there is a danger to using meth and being tasered.

        You'd have a bunch of effectively executed humans and I expect theire families would quickly learn it pays to be litigious.

        1. JBR

          not banning testing, just banning crap tests

          >From a scientific viewpoint I have no problem with testing on animals, what would you suggest?

          For some reason I read methamphetamine as methadone; for that apologies- obviously the red mist had descended after reading about yet another crappy study.

          I'm not against testing on animals, but at least make sure the experiments are well set up and actually necessary. Tasering a bunch of sheep means f**k all when we're already generating masses of data from the regular tasering of humans.

          The taser needs to be subject to the same kind of trials as a pharmaceutical. We're now at the Phase IV or Post Marketing Surveillance Trial stage. Animal models mean nothing except as media friendly way for PR companies to distribute product friendly info.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Can you find a better alternative?

      >>If they believe it's safe, surely Taser employees should be testing them on one another?

      Erm, perhaps Taser don't think it's safe to be dosing their employees up with meth? Just a thought...

      There is no easy answer here. Meth addicts plus controlled experimental conditions don't really go together, so it's pretty hard to find a perfect way of testing the safety of this. We also know all the alternative methods of restraint have risks, though goodness knows how you'd come up with a trail to see what's safer.

      However it's unlikely that because there aren't any safe methods of restraint that the drug-crazed-criminal population is suddenly going to start co-operating with the police. So you try and find the safest alternative, for both police and suspects, and do the best you can.

      I don't quite get the kneejerk anti-taserism from my fellow commentards. Sure they can be used to torture suspects, but so can every other piece of equipment the police carry. It seems to me that there's been a lot of effort to try and ensure that when this happens, it's detectable. There are clearly times when a taser is a far superior (and probably the only) alternative to shooting someone - so what's not to like?

      If there's a problem with police indiscriminate use of force, that's a police problem, not a taser problem.

      1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
        Pint

        Well

        "addicts plus controlled experimental conditions don't really go together"

        I don't know, it didn't stop the Gov and MOD working on this sort of thing at at Porton Down. Happily giving innocent soldiers doses of God-knows what then asking them to perform basic tasks, letting them go without telling them what they had been given or why.

        All in the name of science. We don't need a reason, we just need answers, even if they are wrong ones, we just need them!

    3. John A Blackley

      Why not

      Most of the human population of Britain is about to act like sheep so what's the difference?

    4. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      @AC 15th April 2010 08:25

      "Using sheep as a human model for such a physiological complex interaction? Yeah, I can't see any problems there." I can't help wondering whether such things as wool might make a difference. I really don't know, but does anyone else? How would it be measured. Also, the amount and type of fat might be relevant (if I remember my biology from a few (ahem) years ago, mutton fat gives off much more energy than other domestic food animals. Again, I don't know if it make any difference, but does anyone else, especially the notoriously deceptive bastards at Taser?

      "If they believe it's safe, surely Taser employees should be testing them on one another?". This sounds good, because the sick fucks who a) invented the Taser, and b) come up with experiments like this to justify their use are clearly all on mind-altering substances of some description, and are therefore much better models than sheep!

    5. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
      Stop

      And another thing ...

      ... how do we know that sheep respond in the same way to these drugs as humans do? Is there any evidence (a quick Google search hasn't come up with anything)? I suspect they might just as well have given doses of the drugs to trees, and then Tasered them - the results would have been abou the same.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old school methods

    Yes, as we all saw at those protests in London last year. Well, those who survived, that is. Not everyone made it home to see themselves on telly...

    Surely the safest weapon for the police to use is society's fear and respect of them, so that if a police officer tells you to stop, you stop. And I don't mean the fear they'll murder you.

  5. Miek

    This requires a title

    Sounds like torture to me. RSPCA please.

  6. rcdicky
    WTF?

    Random

    Probs the most random article I've ever read on here lol

  7. adnim

    I thought

    it would be illegal to torture sheep in the US. I also think that as the tasering of resistant, even slightly petulant suspects is so common place is the US, there would already be plenty of data regarding the effects of tasering on high/stoned/drunken humans.

    1. Jerome 0

      Plenty of data

      That's the problem - plenty of data regarding humans, which Taser International is seeking to contradict by frying a few sheep.

    2. Mike Shepherd

      Sheep

      Illegal to torture sheep???

      In the US, it's not even illegal to torture people.

  8. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
    Happy

    An "Unlucky indeed" title would be a too telling revelation and thus does it morph into a question?

    "(four unlucky control animals got none at all) " ......... :-) Thanks for that deep personal insight into the Lewis Page, and presumably by professional association, the El Reg Executive Staff Psyche?

  9. Mark Rosher
    WTF?

    highly unlikely to win

    The study seems highly unlikely to win over the weapons' critics.... no error there. Anyone with any ounce of ethical probity would not treat another creature with such callous disregard. So they're sheep... that makes it ok to pump them full of drugs and then fry their brains? oh, hang on, reality check. That's what we do every day, isn't it... Ho hum.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Joke

      Well considering...

      ... how the US government and the US police (and seemingly Taser international) consider the US population to be sheep, i guess they thought this study would be a direct comparison.

  10. Anonymous John

    Pedantic comment.

    Sheep come in flocks, not herds.

    1. James 7
      Troll

      Nah,

      you're thinking of seagulls.

      *brushes hair*

      1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
        Pint

        Hold on...

        That's vicars isn't it? Oh "flocks", not "frocks"!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Joke

          So

          Thats vicars sorted but what do Priests come in?

          1. Rattus Rattus

            (untitled)

            Choirboys.

          2. SisterClamp

            @ AC

            Altar boys, surely!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Title removed to due blasphemy

      A variety of descriptions for the collective term used for sheep: drove, flock, herd, drift, fold, mob, pack, trip.

      Although most of these are probably no longer used today I think a trip of sheep would be more apt for this story.

      Must say i would rather be a sheep herder, than a sheep flocker (sounds too much like a Harry Enfield sketch, goddam muddyfunster!)

  11. breakfast
    Thumb Up

    Sheep On Drugs

    Sheep On Drugs were responsible for some great tracks back in the early nineties. What was that one called? Their big hit? Oh, I'm going to be wondering about that all morning now.

    1. Jerome 0

      Sheep On Drugs

      Heh, can't believe I managed to read that whole article without Sheep On Drugs coming to mind. The two hits I remember were "Motorbike" and "15 Minutes of Fame".

    2. Code Monkey

      Sheep on Drugs

      Are you thinking of 15 Minutes of Fame?

      Back on topic, these "tasings" are utterly vile.

    3. Ian Stephenson
      Thumb Up

      You must mean

      15 minutes of fame.

      classic.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Acid test

      Acid test was a fairly big hit for them, I think.

      I particularly like the band logo of a sheep's scull over crossed syringes.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Animal welfare abuse

    What a distasteful company, on so many levels. Welcome to the future.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    baa ........... *KZZZRT*

    "Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased"

    ^^ this has my vote for Reg Headline of the Year

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    *This* is how to do it

    http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/2008/10/04/north-wales-police-use-taser-on-sheep-on-a55-55578-21962370/

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/5602424/Police-Taser-themselves-sheep-and-pets-by-accident.html

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/7586121/Police-shot-epileptic-with-tazer-for-biting-paramedics-during-fit.html

  15. ShaggyDoggy

    PETA

    I'm guessing this episode was not endorsed by PETA

  16. SynicNZ

    I would suggest that more reliable testing results ...

    could be generated by using the management of the taser company itself

    1. Ian Stephenson

      nah

      Still couldn't apply the results to humans.

      1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
        Pint

        @ Ian Stephenson ...

        ... Well done. Have a beer on me!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Try testing them on the people using them...

    X(

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    erm...

    One of the places meth addicts can be commonly found are meth labs. They are not the kind of places you want a stray electrical discharge (or so CSI tells me)

    KABOOOM!

    or is the telly lying to me yet again?

  19. James Thomas

    But....

    I would expect that a higher death rate among junkies would actually be the result of their deteriorated physical condition caused by long term drug abuse rather than just 'being high'.

    So it's essentially a marketting/coverup excercise for Taser/The Police force that means absolutely nothing.

  20. Stefing

    El Reg misses pun opportunity!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheep_on_Drugs

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