I for one...
welcome the arrival of our 5th dimensional overlords
In shock news, it has emerged that recent record-breaking increases in particle ring energy achieved at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) - the most powerful atomsmasher ever assembled by the human race - have caused a hyperdimensional portal leading to an inhabited parallel universe to open up deep beneath Switzerland, in what …
FAIL.... and you know why I *know* this is a fake story? There's no mention of collaptic im/explosions and therefore it's obviously a total fake.
Next time get your facts (and terminology) correct Mr Page - your reputation as a world class reporter on high level physics will suffer otherwise.
Shouldn't they be calling UNIT led by Capt'n. Jack to deal with the monsters from the Id?
CERN?? Amateurs!! I might just as well adopt the brace position and rely on the 4000 holes in Blackburn to deflect the reverse polarity of the neutron flow, until our pan-dimensional overlords reach Lancashire.
"Yes, how did you guess?"
"Well, it could be the hazmat suit... but personally, I was tipped off by the fact that you were carrying a rocket launcher; a machine gun; two pistols; a nuclear-powered-vacuum-cleaner thing; a satchel of laser mines, grenades and high explosives, and a living-alien-claw that shoots bugs... Are you here to help the Horde? - No wait! Wrong game!"