back to article Jacqui Smith cracks down on gangs via computers, closets

The government will hit gangs where it hurts - on the internet and in their wardrobes. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith today announced plans to insert provisions into the Policing and Crime Bill that would allow courts to impose a range of restrictions on individuals. These include not allowing individuals to enter a "specified …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Was Jacqui Bullied at School

    because she shows all the symptoms of someone who may have.

    It is just sheer lunacy what see keeps on proposing, add her to the vulnerable adults list, and let someone care for her. Most of her actions are just a desperate cry for help.

    Politics is the evolution of gangs, and nation flags are the colours of world gangs, is she really proposing that all political parties should be banned, and the monarchy dismantled. And if so which gang is she going to use to do that with, she has just banned the police gang and their colour displaying uniforms.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Christ, she's mad.

    "Yo, MoFo- I iz got like 4 'undred friends on facebook. My "Da Crips" posse is well bigger than your "thuh bluds" massive, innit?"

    "Oh, I iz gonna kill you fo' that, beeyatch" *unfriends*

    Is this sort of thing really a problem?

    I can sort of see the point with not letting them wear Gang colours- though perhaps a better punishment would be banning them from their own gang's territories (assuming they don't live in them) or forcing them to wear the opposing gang's colours?

    And finally some wisom - "When it's criminal to hide your identity, only Criminals will hide their identities".

    "Being on the front foot is a bad thing when people start to push back"

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "banning them from using and threatening to use violence"

    Forgive my ignorance, but I'd have sworn that those things were already against the law?

    Also - gang colours? Do they exist in the UK in the same way as in other places? And banning people from a gang's territory, when they tend to be localised around where the members live?

    Oh well, I suppose it's meant to get column inches rather than have any real effect.

  4. dervheid

    Injunctions are like ASBOs

    Pointless, limited and ultimately regarded as another measure of how 'hard' these scumbags rate themselves, and each other.

    Way to go with another useless 'initiative' Jacqui!

    Do us all a favour, either resign or FOAD, either will do.

    And take the rest of the Cabinet with you while you're at it.

    And Paw Broon.

    Here's your coat.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "banning them from using and threatening to use violence"

    oh right, so using violence isn't banned at the moment? best go out and bash a granny before they criminalise it

  6. Ad Fundum
    Black Helicopters

    Wacky Jacqui...

    I tried to think of something witty and funny to describe the way I perceive Jacqui Smith, but I failed miserably. I apologise for this. The best I can do is, "Jesus Christ she's as thick as pig shit".

    And Reg: Why don't we have little Jacqui and Gordie devil pics at the bottom of the page?

  7. thefutureboy
    Thumb Up

    Wearing a loud shirt in a built-up area

    And "Walking around with an offensive wife" of course...

  8. Alex
    Thumb Down

    somebody please

    section Jacqui "the fucking deranged sociopath/megalomaniac" Smith before... ..well before any more of this shit is produced! this is our taxes being jizzed out all over this rubbish!

  9. Paul

    It end up like the US

    Where you can't wear a red or blue hat in some areas... Just sillyness.

  10. TeeCee Gold badge


    ".....banning them from using and threatening to use violence."

    If the prospect of being prosecuted for Threatening Behaviour, Assault or such isn't a deterrent here, it's difficult to see how issuing a note saying that, er, you're not allowed to do this sort of thing is going to have any effect at all.

    Here's an idea. Try Doing Something About It (enforcing the laws you have) rather than Being Seen To Do Something About It (dreaming up drafts of new laws for a press release).

  11. Greg

    They're going to tell us what to wear?


    They're going to regulate what we can wear?


  12. Nursing A Semi


    They are planning on having this on the books for April are they?

    I was worried the government might be loosing the plot there for a while, but now I see they are just having a bit of April fools fun.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    vague and catch all

    So it can be applied as and when they please.... will some ignorant fashionista get busted for having a red collection?

    The more separation that is created with this 'them and us' stuff, the more likely young uns are going to be to get involved in it.

    The youth of today are not as stupid as Jaqui would like to believe, they see that the person with the biggest weapons can invade any country they like. They see that being that persons best buddy puts us on their side. They see big companies and banks acting only in search of profit at any expense.

    They see pre-preemptive strikes and hidden government sponsored torture.

    They learn that all this equals some kind of power, and they see how hypocritical it is to "do as i say not as i do".

    How about you lead by example Jaqui, show some basic respect to all of our human rights.

  14. Jon Double Nice

    Anyone remember 'Time Trumpet'?

    When the government made being afraid of crime illegal? Thats all they need to do really.

  15. Pete

    This should create some interest in gang colours

    where there is none at the moment. Way to go. And Jacqui, one spliff can't have caused this level of brain damage...what have you been up to?

  16. Julian
    Paris Hilton

    Footie Fans Next?!

    Perhaps Wacky Jackie could extend this to Football fans. Who could also be described a gang members wearing gang colours.

    Paris cos shes way brighter than Wacky Jackie.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    okay besides her normal mental drivle

    "and banning them from using and threatening to use violence."

    F--K ME! You mean I'm allowed to threaten to use, and use violence, unless I've been banned from doing so? Damn, I've been getting this whole society thing wrong, my friends we should flood the streets with guns and nailed baseball bats battering anyone and thing that we dislike. Seen as we're obviously allowed to do so.

    And I mean, I have a generally low opinion of the intellect of a great many folk, but I'm quite sure that these "gangs" would be quite happy to just change their "colours" or whatever, although most of the gang types I've seen don't have any kind of co-ordinated evening ware, I mean not even all of them wear hoodies?!

  18. Len Goddard

    clothing ban

    Just ban them from wearing any clothes. That would keep them all off the streets for the next few months.

  19. Vonga

    Great idea!

    It's about time that there were consequences for threatening someone with violence!


    oh, I see, it was already an offense under many statutes? hmmm, forget I spoke

  20. Anonymous Coward

    I will tell the government for free that this will fail

    ... as it is clearly "discriminatory". Because some spotty oik will be banned from wearing a hoodie, whereas a 70 year-old grandad will not.

    Others will tell them too. They will ignore us all. Then they will act surprised and express their "disappointment" when higher courts throw the laws out (again !).

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anti social behaviour

    "for example a gang's "territory", and banning them from using and threatening to use violence."

    And if they aren't threatening to use violence, why should they be banned just for being a gang? Using threatening behaviour is already an offense, so what's new is the ability to ban a gang for being a gang.

    "More bizarrely, perhaps, injunctions could be used to prevent individuals using the internet to encourage or facilitate violence."

    Facilitate? That's so wide as to be meaningless, it would cover forum, you mean you will let the Rozzers close down forums just because somebody says something they don't like, she will permit freedom of speech to be suppressed for a whole group because of one comment from one commenter? A single agent provocateur can be used to remove peoples free speech rights?

    You know what will happen, just like ASBOs were used against pensioners to prevent them meeting for a social chat on the park benches, so this gang law will be used to ban arbitrary groups. So groups of kids on the streets playing will be banned because some dotty old cow doesn't like them hanging around her street, and it will be used against BNP rallys and perhaps other political groups, or against protesters outside 'Total' refineries...

    And the internet censorship thing will be used to suppress free speech.

    Face it, she never thinks anything through, she creates this massive wide open laws ripe for abuse and then acts all innocent when they get abused. She's not fit to hold a senior position. I wouldn't put her in charge of a youth hostel, she's so incompetent.

  22. James

    I guess that'll be ...

    .. an end to all those fat profits for football clubs - Illegal to wear "gang" colours. So the fans will have to turn up for matches in a variety of clothes. May also mean that each member of the team has to wear a different outfit - otherwise they are quite clearly wearing "gang" colours and behaving in an aggressive way towards the other gang. It'll make great TV !

    On the PCs watching the Interweb for miscreants - they recently did that is Scotland - found gang members who'd posted themselves on You Tube brandishing knives - employed two 18 year old police trainees to do it.

    Here in Scotland a "tube" is "A contemptible or idiotic person." so You Tube means: You contemptible person" or "You idiotic person" - seems to fit the knife brandishers as far as I can see !

  23. Paul Gomme

    There are several Facebook groups for her insanity

    Here's mine...

    "How mad is Wacky Jacqui?"

    Please feel free to join up!!

  24. Rapacity

    @Anti social behaviour (15:52 GMT)

    "I wouldn't put her in charge of a youth hostel, she's so incompetent."

    She wouldn't be allowed to be in charge of a youth hostel - she's abused too many kids by subjecting them to discrimination, kidnap, imprisonment... Come to think of it, the whole government could be accused of child abuse/neglect; perhaps we can use Jaqui's laws against them to remove them.

    Thanks for the ammo Jaqui - you're the best!

    Alien because it symbolises this government's out-of-this-worldness (or should that be spaced-outness).

  25. Mike Smith


    Is this dreadful creature married? If so, her husband deserves to be banged up for walking around with an offensive wife.

    #include <disclaimer.h> To the best of my knowledge, I am not, never have been, and never will be related to the raging megalomaniac Home Secretary with whom I share a surname. I'm thinking of changing it to something like Himmler, Milosevic or Mugabe - less embarrassment there.

    Better go before I'm nicked for looking at you in a funny way...

  26. DJ

    And scalfs?

    In this slightly chilly weather, covering your face with a scarf is going to get you thrown in the slammer?

  27. Mark
    Paris Hilton

    Isn't this a threat of violence?

    Or is this like Monty Python has it, a case of the police saying "Stop! Or I'll say 'Stop!' again!".


    Someone please put her out of our misery.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    more government gone wacqui

    'nuf said.

  29. Mike Richards

    Banning colours

    Any chance the courts can ban red rosettes on otherwise perfectly-normal looking adults? Because if they don't, the next time I see a Labour candidate I might not be responsible for my actions.

  30. Anonymous Coward

    First They Came...

    First they came for the goths. But since I wasn't into The Cure, I didn't worry.

    Then they came for the emos. But as I think MCR are a bit rubbish, I said nothing.

    And then they came for the punks. Since The Sex Pistols isn't my kind of thing, I did not object.

    When they came for the metalheads, there was no one left to scream out for me.

  31. John Imrie

    Belonging to a gang

    I used to belong to a gang.

    We had 'colours'

    I would carry a knife to and from meetings.

    We where taught how to use axes and other weapons.

    We would 'invade' other gangs territories.

    We where taught how to set fire to things.

    It was called 'The Scouts'

    I wonder what happened to them.

  32. Anonymous Coward

    Sack Wacky Jacqui Day - April 1st?

    She's treating the whole of the UK like a giant school, where all us ordinary citizens are merely pupils.

    No wonder she's increasingly one of the most hated, despised people in the entire country. She treats us with contempt, patronising us like we're all eight or nine years old. And she seems to enjoy it, which makes it all the more intolerable.

    Let's make April Fools' Day Sack Wacky Jacqui Day, with mass demonstrations in London and elsewhere.

    Now of course I'll come under suspicion just for calling for such action.

    I'm genuinely fearful of what New Labour are turning this country into.

  33. RW


    ""particular items of clothing such as gang colours or balaclavas which prevent identification"

    Gang colours prevent identification? If that quote is accurate, the law once again demonstrates that it is an ass.

    Wakki Jakki is an ass, too.

    I'll be breathlessly waiting for the first trial:

    Prosecutor: "You, you horrible little anti-social gang member, you! You're wearing indigo blue, a known gang colour!"

    Defendant: "All blue jeans are indigo blue."

    Pros: "It's still a gang colour! Transport him to the Falklands, m'lord!"

    Def: "I quote in defense Sigmund Freud: 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.' Mutatis mutandis sometimes clothing colour is just decoration."

    M'Lord: "Innocent! Transport that idiot prosecutor to South Georgia[*]."

    [*] Neither the Caucasian republic nor the American state is meant.

    Prayer: Divine Moderatrix, forgive me for I have sinned. I have rambled on with poor quality imaginary dialog. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

    Tux, 'cause he always thinks my jokes are funny.

  34. Bitsucker
    Thumb Down

    Another opportunity to stifle free comment?

    It's not that far fetched to envisage people being arrested for wearing clothing with anti-government opinions printed on it - there are numerous examples on the ACLU and Youtube websites of precisely that already happening in the USA. To pick an example from Youtube, a couple were arrested for wearing T-shirts with identical anti-Bush logos - what is to stop the Police here from applying the proposed laws on the grounds that such clothing "prevent identification"?

  35. Stewart Haywood

    Good grief

    So she is going to ban things that are already banned. Sounds like a really good plan, well thought out.

    She is going to prevent gang members from being in their gangs territory. First of all, it is dumb to recognise any area as being any gang's territory. This would be part way to making their claim on a territory legitimate. Second, this will have the effect of moving them into an area claimed by some other gang and starting a gang war.

    Hiding your face will be illegal. That is going to piss off Muslim women again, well done. Motor cycle helmets are going to be a bit of a problem. I assume that Santa will have to be clean shaven and no masks for doctors or nurses. This one is obviously going to upset the SAS, not a good move.

  36. Anonymous Coward

    Banning it in Law makes it so NOT

    Typical of this government. If there is a law banning stuff then that solves the problem then.

    You know there is this little thing called practical enforcement that may get in the way.

    It's like the governments world is a virtual world where they tweak the laws, and magic plod is faultless, but maybe the real world is too unpalatable for them (except when it comes to expenses)

  37. David

    Noddy and Big Ears' gang strike.

    Is this woman really living in the real world? She is rapidly becoming a laughing stock.

  38. Chris Holford

    Hardly new

    "O Paddy dear, an' did ye hear the news that's goin' round?

    The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground;

    St. Patrick's Day no more we'll keep, his colour can't be seen,

    For there's a bloody law against the wearin' o' the Green.

    O I met with Napper Tandy, and he took me by the hand

    And he asked 'How's poor old Ireland, and how does she stand?'

    She's the most distressful country this world has yet to see

    For they're hangin' men and women there for wearin' o' the green




    Wikipaedia, among other place has more.

  39. RW

    @ AC re Sack Wacky Jacqui Day - April 1st?

    "[Wakki Jakki is] treating the whole of the UK like a giant school, where all us ordinary citizens are merely pupils."

    What else do you expect from a former school teacher?

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Nothing to do with 'Gangs'

    'More bizarrely, perhaps, injunctions could be used to prevent individuals using the internet to encourage or facilitate violence. Lastly, courts would be able to prevent individuals wearing "particular items of clothing such as gang colours or balaclavas which prevent identification".'

    This has nothing to do with 'gangs' but has everything to do with freedom of association of ordinary people.

    Supposing you didn't agree with the employment policy of a company who was employing foreign contractors

    Supposing you set up a website to publicise said companies actions.

    Supposing you set up a blog on the site to encourage fair and open debate.

    Supposing someone posts 'why don't we go down there and show them the strength of our feelings'

    When are you people going to get off your hairy a#### and do something about the drip drip of freedoms being taken away from you.

    Tuh, tecchy's, what are they good for.

    PS. when this becomes law, allowing this post will get El Reg shutdown, you have been warned

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's a crime people are getting paid to invent this stuff.

    We have perfectly adequate laws for dealing with lawlessness.

    This is the kind of crap you get with a “Nanny State”. Parents and teachers are afraid to discipline children. And children like to test boundaries, I know because I used to be one. Sometimes the answer is a smacked arse, or being carted round to the house owner whose window they broke and made to do chores for them.

    Recently a couple of kids caused £1000 of damage to a church by setting off the fire extinguishers. Their parents forced them to go back to the church and, in front of the congregation, apologise for the damage they caused. I think that was an example of good parenting.

    Just teaching a child some respect goes a long way to averting unruly behaviour. Simple acts like holding a door open for someone can go miles. A lesson a lot of adults could learn too.

    As for the punishment of crimes, the UK has it all wrong. Prisoners are a resource to be used. Why not have hard labour for criminals who are multiple offenders or show no remorse for their crimes? It would help businesses; need to hire an expensive JCB to dig a trench or ask the local prison for a dozen lags to dig it? The prison could be remunerated for the cost of the officers, armed with tazers and shotguns to look after them. It’s better than a prisoner sitting there in a cell watching TV. Prison is meant to be a punishment after all. I’m put in mind of a case where a non English-speaking guy raped a woman so that he could get a place to live (in prison) and be taught English. Sick.

    How the UK treats people who are not nationals is also wrong. Based on each cases merit, there are times when the best thing to do is deport them. I don’t care if they are wanted for crimes in their own country and may get a death sentence. Perhaps they should of thought of that before committing a crime in the UK!

    There are millions of taxpayer pounds paid to lags in prison that have an accident in prison and sue for compensation. Excuse me, you committed a crime, suing the state for falling on your arse should not be an option.

    Our judges seem to be a law unto themselves, can anyone remember (without looking it up) where a judge has been prosecuted for giving an entirely rubbish sentence for a crime? For instance, a judge dismissed a case against a young woman who was assaulted as she got out of her car, she could identify the assailants. Why was this dismissed? The judge decided that she was “too good a witness” and she would “prejudice” the jury. The judge clearly had mental health issues.

    This post is already too long and I have not even started on the lack of policing, too much paperwork and not enough cops on the beat.

    Jacqui Smith and the other twats running this country into the ground should concentrate on what’s important, rather then defending their so called image and their expense bills.

    By the way, the AC who posted “Christ, she's mad.”

    “"Yo, MoFo- I iz got like 4 'undred friends on facebook. My "Da Crips" posse is well bigger than your "thuh bluds" massive, innit?"

    "Oh, I iz gonna kill you fo' that, beeyatch" *unfriends*

    Is this sort of thing really a problem?”

    Yes, it’s a problem, if you have any kind of love of the English language. Mind you, your reference to “Da Crips” did remind me of a South Park episode evolving Timmmy! The incorrect spelling deliberate.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Why is it . America and the UK seem to be in race towards insanity ?? I just hop the new president can help curb some of this BS, before they shoot him for not playing ball.

    Christ sakes I thought some of the shit that GW bush came up with was nuts , but this Jacki lady damn. Why is she not in a institution. I have this mental image of needing papers to ravel in the UK. Needing papers (permit) to be in group of more than two people if you are under 30.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    She gets high on windowlene

    FFS, you cant wear a balaclava to hide your identity! I can see it on crimewatch now, CCTV of man in blizzard walking past camera and PC Plod for telly saying "we couldnt identify this man due to his illegal balaclava" and thats the crime!


    either that or stick to licking the windows, can you get strawberry windowlene ?

    Paris, she knows how to keep it simple

  44. Andrew Taylor

    Look to the obvious

    If we all make a complaint under this law the Police will have to close Parliament, because they all dress alike and discuss wars against other "gangs"

    A law that well thought through that it can be used by anyone to close the very organisation charge with making laws, way to go Jacqui.

  45. Jonny F
    Thumb Up

    My Local Rolla-Coaster Park Made Me Take Off My Bandanna

    Tied about my neck, kept the sun off. They said i could only come in the park if i took it off. House rules. Seems blue bandannas are a bad choice round here (Pittsburgh PA, USA). Next time i will go for a pastel, no self respecting gang will use a pastel.

    I dislike all the stupid rules states don't need. And yet, I quite like the idea that if you're [childish/stupid/tough] enough to be in a gang (with associated anti social behavior and rules) then the state has [childish/stupid/tough] laws it can apply (like not allowing you to wear your gang "uniform").

  46. Andy Bright
    Thumb Up

    So obvious

    Well I have to say this is a truly awesome idea, some might say it's just plain bonkers but if you ask me she's on to something here. Just the simplicity of it makes me wonder why no one thought of this before.

    As we all know, if you tell kids they aren't allowed to do something, they immediately become perfect.

    I've long had this dream of a Utopian society, where teenagers where banned from committing all sorts of crimes and one day it'll be illegal for kids of all ages to commit murder or steal a car.

    I'm sure some of you are saying that's just crazy talk. You just can't believe they'll ever go that far, and think the best we can hope for is perhaps a ban on stealing sweets from shops or deflating bicycle tires.

    But i say no. I say we can make it illegal for them to break any law. I truly believe that one day this can happen if we all work together and this wise women has taken us on the first steps towards that golden future.

  47. Eric Hood

    Abuse of authority

    People in authority always find ways to abuse it.

    This reminds me of a pub I about to enter, there was a party of twenty or so in front of us, the bouncer on the door was telling a guy he could not enter because his shirt had an Aztec motif on it.

    Bouncer says "the rules say no Aztec motifs and that is an Aztec motif."

    The guy says "Mate you have to be kidding" after being assured the bouncer was not kidding the guy said"There are twenty of us and we booked a table for dinner"

    This made no difference and they were turned away. Bet his boss had a few words to say.

    After this piece of stupidity we decided to keep with the nights new theme and head to a nearby Mexican restaurant.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Reminded me of this beauty

    Many years ago I lived in another city which was considering a curfew for anyone under 21 since they figured out that those under 21 accounted for a grand 20 percent of all crimes committed overnight.

    some of us with a little more brainpower figured that if they wanted to just reduce crime the most effective thing was a curfew for those over 21 who were committing 80 percent of the crime.

    needless to say, it's easier to squat on those too young to vote your miserable ass out of office.

  49. Anonymous Coward

    Move along citizen [thump-whack]

    HalfLife 2 is reality in today's Britain.

    [minus the headcrabs and stuff, although the Welsh.....]

  50. Matt

    @wacqui jacqui



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