back to article Israeli jailers listen to guard dogs with interpreter ware

Israeli prison officers are using high-tech computer canine interpreter communications gear to understand messages barked by patrolling guard dogs, according to reports. "It collects the dogs' barks through microphones... and sorts and grades them," said Noam Tavor, head of the Israeli prison service K-9 branch, describing the …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    "dog who cried wolf"

    Surely that should be "dog who cried [escaping] man"?

    Mines the Wolf skin one with the sheepskin lining.

  2. SpitefulGOD
    Gates Halo

    Ahhh

    I think dogs are great, it's gonna be a shame to see them superseded by droids

  3. TeeCee Gold badge

    "dog who cried wolf"

    Not the dog's fault. "Woof" / "Wolf". Easy mistake to make over a radio link.

    Now, you'd have thought that the human handlers would realise they'd misheard, unless they've got a serious wolf problem in Israeli prisons that they're not telling us about.

  4. TrishaD
    Coat

    Dog/Wolf

    Dont dogs usually cry 'Wuff'?

    Mine's the concrete overcoat - in anticipation......

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    dog who cried wolf?

    shouldn't that rather be "dog who barked wolf"?!

  6. Christoph

    What is El Reg coming to?

    No bites/bytes pun? Shame on you!

  7. Ian Rogers
    Coat

    Canis Lupus

    Shirley "Dog who cried woof"?

    Put the microphones and position locators on the dogs with voice recognition software to detect which crim is currently screaming "ow, geroff my leg/arm/nuts/whatever" to automatically open the appropriate doors back inside away from the pooches...

    Take human guards out of the loop.

    At high security prisons don't bother feeding the dogs...

    Mine's the one with the sleeping pills and chunks of steak.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Don't they use German Shepherd dogs?

    If so, the Israeli guards won't be able to understand them anyway.

  9. cookieMonster
    Paris Hilton

    so what's a dog's bark like when

    the dog sees a pussy, "muff muff..." ??

    Paris... well...

  10. Dave Silver badge
    Boffin

    pseudocode

    Are they using an eight bit bitmask to store the characteristics of barks under different circumstances? I hope so, then the code which handles it might say:

    if (bark.worseThan(byte)

    {

    alert();

    }

    else

    {

    ignore();

    }

    [ hmmmm.... El Reg comments system doesn;t seem to like formatting code-like comments ]

  11. Cameron Colley

    Where's Amber?

    I hope she's been dispatched to Israel to investigate.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Stupidly over-engineered non-solution to trivial problem

    Or, like, they could just put little wireless webcams on the dogs' collars, and then when one starts barking the controllers could just, y'know, LOOK and see if anything's going on.

    Of course, that would have the disadvantages of being far simpler, cheaper, made out of bog-standard off-the-shelf robust and reliable technology, with a much-nearer-100% accuracy rate. But hey, why do things the easy and effective way when you can do them much worse, for only far far far more time, effort and money?

  13. ImaGnuber

    Slurp Slurp Slurp

    I hope those aren't radio-microphones mounted on the dogs. I wouldn't want to spend any part of my day listening to a dog licking itself - though I expect it would appeal to some Reg readers.

  14. JohnH
    Happy

    "Smithers..."

    Release the hounds....

  15. b
    Pirate

    zionists are mad

    listening to dogs now, are they?

    israel is doomed.

  16. Joe

    I for one...

    ...welcome our new canine overlords!

  17. Jesse
    Heart

    RE: Slurp Slurp Slurp

    I'm quite partial to bitches licking themselves, thank you!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Dear Sir,

    I would like to complement you on your exemplary use of the word "turd" in the article. These days it is rare to see the effective placement of a good turd, dog or otherwise. I trust you will endeavour to continue handling your turds with such care and proficiency.

    Regards

    Roger (Cynthia) Smythe-Jones

  19. multipharious
    Coat

    Lasers...

    Sorry, mine is the one with the Gary Larson book in it.

  20. Glenn Charles
    Paris Hilton

    canine decoding and storage requirements

    I understand decoding the e-mails between the (canine) guards is quite a trick.

    ...slup, slurp, muff

    --Glenn

    [Paris: "OOoo"]

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