"dog who cried wolf"
Surely that should be "dog who cried [escaping] man"?
Mines the Wolf skin one with the sheepskin lining.
Israeli prison officers are using high-tech computer canine interpreter communications gear to understand messages barked by patrolling guard dogs, according to reports. "It collects the dogs' barks through microphones... and sorts and grades them," said Noam Tavor, head of the Israeli prison service K-9 branch, describing the …
Shirley "Dog who cried woof"?
Put the microphones and position locators on the dogs with voice recognition software to detect which crim is currently screaming "ow, geroff my leg/arm/nuts/whatever" to automatically open the appropriate doors back inside away from the pooches...
Take human guards out of the loop.
At high security prisons don't bother feeding the dogs...
Mine's the one with the sleeping pills and chunks of steak.
Are they using an eight bit bitmask to store the characteristics of barks under different circumstances? I hope so, then the code which handles it might say:
[ hmmmm.... El Reg comments system doesn;t seem to like formatting code-like comments ]
Or, like, they could just put little wireless webcams on the dogs' collars, and then when one starts barking the controllers could just, y'know, LOOK and see if anything's going on.
Of course, that would have the disadvantages of being far simpler, cheaper, made out of bog-standard off-the-shelf robust and reliable technology, with a much-nearer-100% accuracy rate. But hey, why do things the easy and effective way when you can do them much worse, for only far far far more time, effort and money?
I would like to complement you on your exemplary use of the word "turd" in the article. These days it is rare to see the effective placement of a good turd, dog or otherwise. I trust you will endeavour to continue handling your turds with such care and proficiency.
Roger (Cynthia) Smythe-Jones
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